In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend

#people #hobby #trend

Recently, the purpose of shopping changes from a routine domestic task to a

hobby

. It is widely accepted that

this

offers many benefits.

However

, shopping as a

hobby

can

also

have many drawbacks.

This

essay will consider the benefit of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

shopping as a

hobby

and the negative effects that could occur. The

first

and most obvious benefit of shopping as a

hobby

Remove the article

apply

show examples

decreasing stress. Nowadays

people

get more stress due to the hectic city,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

consequently

Add a comma

,consequently

show examples

the easiest way to make

people

satisfied is spending

money

with the thing they love

such

as food, a fashion or an electronic gadget in

everyday

Replace the word

every day

show examples

Therefore

, shopping tends to become

Change preposition

apply

show examples

one

kind of

hobby

that everyday

people

will spend

money

with their

friend

Fix the agreement mistake

friends

show examples

and family.

Moreover

, the changing purpose of shopping to

hobby

Add an article

the hobby

a hobby

show examples

can strengthen the family bond because shopping will not

Add a missing verb

be a

show examples

Remove the article

apply

show examples

responsibility for the mother who looks after the house but it will be the

time

that family can help each other. Despite many benefits, shopping

also

has numerous drawbacks. The possible

one

is overspending the

money

. If

people

think of shopping as a

hobby

, they will use

money

less effective.

For example

, fashion shopping is often changing trend

Change preposition

apply

show examples

every month, so it has to use numerous

money

for following fashion trends. As the result, they will not have

sparing

Change the verb form

to spare

show examples

money

for

using

Replace the word

use

show examples

in the emergency case.

In addition

, shopping for entertainment is

one

of the

time consuming

Add a hyphen

time-consuming

show examples

activities. It will take more

time

than a routine domestic task because they will enjoy shopping which the

time

flies. In conclusion, many

people

use their leisure

time

for shopping as

one

of their hobbies. Spending

money

on the things that they love could reduce the stress,

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

overspending could occur less saving. So

people

have to learn how to manage their

money

and balance the

money

for the

hobby

and the future life.

Submitted by sahapol.rs on Sun Oct 17 2021

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Your opinion

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

315 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

consumerism
retail therapy
materialism
disposable income
economic growth
financial instability
environmental impact
social interaction
community building
emotional satisfaction
advertising influence
shopping habits

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In the past, shopping was a routine domestic task. Many people nowadays regard it as a hobby. To what extent do you think this is a positive trend

Your opinion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Students should be primarily taught academic subjects so that they can pass exams, and practical skills such as cooking should not be taught. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that other media are better sources of news. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Large members of visitors can endanger ancient archeological sites such as Machu Plcchu. In your opinion, is it more important to try to preserve such sites or allow public access to them?