IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

"Some people think that the detailed criminal description on newspaper and TV has bad influences, so this kind of information should be restricted on the media." Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your own opinion.

#people #description #newspaper #tv #influences #information #media
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Some people believe that detailed information
of
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about
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 crimes committed should not expose to the public through social media. Personally, I completely disagree
with
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apply
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that
crimial
Correct your spelling
criminal
 description should be restricted. On one hand, enough publicity of criminal cases could enhance the precautionary awareness of the public. Being
familar
Correct your spelling
familiar
 with the process
how
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of how
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 the crime was committed and what was the intention and motivation of the criminal, people could take precautionary actions and make
fully
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full
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 preparation to prevent
this
 kind of
crimes
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crime
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 from happening again.
For example
, when thieves were caught and their
behavior
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behaviour
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 was completely exposed to the public,
then
 people could know thieves' ways of stealing belongings or breaking into private properties which could largely decrease the criminal rate of
same
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the same
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 kind.
On the other hand
,
fully
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full
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 exposure
of
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to
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 criminal cases could be a wake-up call for those potential
criminals
. A large number of
criminals
 don't have much
legistic
Correct your spelling
logistic
linguistic
legalistic
 knowledge, and the severe punishment posed on
criminals
 and confessions of
criminals
 after being put into jail for years could largely hinder the intention of those future prisoners to commit crimes.
For example
, if a thief saw that another thief was sentenced to be in prison for 5 years for stealing 200
dollors
Correct your spelling
dollars
, he will compare the drawbacks and benefits and possibly give up stealing things. In conclusion, exposure of detailed criminal
description
Fix the agreement mistake
descriptions
show examples
 is necessary to the public and it could play a key role in decreasing the
criminal
Replace the word
crime
show examples
 rate.
Submitted by liyanwojack on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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