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Band 6

Which do you prefer: a high-paying job with long hours or a lower-paying job with shorter hours? Use specific reasons and details to support your answer.

#job #hours #support
Nowadays, many individuals are acknowledging the importance of payroll
as well as
 working
hours
 to be considered in choosing their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
.
While
 some argue that longer
hours
 with high income
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the ideal, others prefer working a lower-paying job for a shorter
amount
 of
time
.
This
 essay will
further
 delve into why the latter is preferable. Some people believe that in order to achieve a happy life, we should have a plentiful
amount
 of
money
.
However
, spending more
time
 doing
work
 in order to achieve a boujee lifestyle is not a lifestyle
one
 would prefer. With a huge
amount
 of
money
 but no
time
 to spend, individuals will not have
time
 to spare for leisure and to pamper themselves.
For instance
, when
one
 saves up
money
 to travel abroad by working overtime, not only they will not have the
time
 to actually go travelling, but they will
also
 have the tendency to feel burnout. The feeling of burnout can be caused by not taking it easy on themselves, and overworking is a short pathway to experience that. Working with a lower income but fewer working
hours
,
on the other hand
, will be more enjoyable for those who want to have free
time
 and enjoy their life more. Having more
time
 means more opportunities to mingle and connect with friends and family. As someone who is a people person myself, spending
time
 with those whom I love would be
one
 way to live an enjoyable life.
This
 lifestyle would be more beneficial for
one
's mental health and well-being as it has less chance
to develop
Change preposition
of developing
show examples
 into burnout because of the smaller
amount
 of
hours
 of
work
. All in all, even though a high-paying occupation with significantly longer
hours
 of
work
 might be preferable for those who want to attain huge amounts of
money
, the importance of
one
's well-being is at the top of my priorities,
hence
 why it is better to have shorter
hours
 of
work
 even though the payroll is small.
Submitted by anindyadewi58 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central topic that is well articulated and supported with specific examples or further explanation.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your essay includes a clear introduction that sets the context and a conclusion that summarizes your main points effectively.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, provide more specific examples to support your arguments. These examples can be drawn from personal experiences, observations, or hypothetical situations to illustrate your points more vividly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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