IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The number of people who are fat and overweight are much higher than previous generations. What are the reasons? What can be done to solve this problem?

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In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 day and age, there has been a growing trend that the myriad of obese folk, which is
substaintially
Correct your spelling
substantially

The word substaintially is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

greater than the early generations.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 article will attempt to analyse the cause and propose some solutions to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 issue. There are several causes behind the fact that there is a rising number of youngsters suffering from obesity. The major reason is that many
Change preposition
of a

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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a
Correct article usage
the

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 current generation tends to have excessive consumption of junk food, which could increase the risk of serious exacerbations of their health,
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as strokes, obesity, and high blood pressure. It is because, It's because, unlike nutritious food, which requires time and effort to prepare, while these foods are incredibly simple and convenient. Another factor is that
virtully
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virtually

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everyone has a propensity to lead a sedentary lifestyle, which may lead to having both poor health and a higher risk of serious illness including several cardiovascular and respiratory syndromes.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
in contrast
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 with a lethargic youngster, the child who be likely to do exercise every day always achieve good health. Some measures could be taken to solve
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 issue. The initial measure is that it is urgent for the government to raise public awareness of a well-balanced diet.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, when people do exercise, they can be healthier and enhance their productivity. The
second
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 attempt is that the government’s obligation to lower the cost of clean ingredients with a view to encouraging society to eat better.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 may account for assisting the general population in achieving access to a healthy lifestyle. In conclusion, a large number of youngsters consuming a large amount of junk food, as well as folks’ sedentary lifestyles are
accountant
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an accountant

The noun phrase accountant seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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 to
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 problem which requires several solutions to tackle, including encouraging the public about a balanced diet and government reducing the price of clean ingredients.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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