Nowadays it is common for people to get married and have children in their thirties rather than when they are younger. Do you agree or disagree that this trend will benefit society?

In my opinion, I will agree that people in their twenties might not have
sufficent
Correct your spelling
sufficient
work experience and financially
stablity
Correct your spelling
stability
stable
due to their lack of exposure towards challenging reality in
outside
Add an article
the outside
show examples
world.
Moreover
, due to their younger
age
Add a comma
,age
show examples
they are more
commited
Correct your spelling
committed
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
other areas
such
as gaming and studying which makes them less
comitted
Correct your spelling
committed
to have
marriage
Replace the word
married
show examples
and have children.
Hence
, without the stability of flowing
income
Add a comma
,income
show examples
it might affect them emotionally and mentally.
Thus
, they have fewer experiences on knowledge in raising children than those parents who are in their mid-thirties in terms of superiority. For people in their thirties, might possess financially stability due to their exposure in age and experience,
therefore
they have much more capital wealth that motivates their mental state and stability in marriage and managing their children.
Submitted by ddj992 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic stability
  • financial security
  • mature decision making
  • life goals
  • child welfare
  • emotionally equipped
  • population growth control
  • resource management
  • environmental sustainability
  • changing social norms
  • traditional timelines
  • personal freedom
  • social diversity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: