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Band 7.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages?

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
Nowadays, because of high
competition
Add a comma
,competition
show examples
 there is no doubt that
people
 who had long
hours
 of
work
 eventually leave no part-
time
 activities.
This
 essay will discuss both the merits and demerits of these trends before reaching an appropriate conclusion. Admittedly, working for long
hours
 benefits only monetary terms. Due to the rising competition at
work
, many
people
 tend to go for extra miles of
hours
 to do their best in the team. That leads them to
work
 long
hours
 in order to go above their benchmark. Many companies offer extra pay for working overtime.
For example
, during the recession a year back, the government will offer double salaries to the employees working more than nine
hours
.
On the other hand
, the various drawbacks may be noted. Working for longer can lead you to burnout and stress.
This
 will lead you to have health problems like heart attacks and panic attacks. It
also
 limits your
time
 to bond with your family. According to a study,
people
 need to balance their life, working and leisure
time
, to have a healthy life.
Additionally
, it is useless to have a lot of money if you are not going to enjoy your life and spend it wisely for your own good. In conclusion, putting in too much effort and sacrifice leisure
time
 will generate more cash.
However
, it will lead you to have a health problem and less
time
 with your family.
Therefore
, it is necessary to weigh the benefits against drawbacks carefully before coming to a decision as to whether
people
 should
work
 longer
hours
 and spend
time
 relaxing.
Submitted by maryaizee_14 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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