The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information about attendance at entertainment venues and admission prices to those venues in 2009. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The bar charts below show data about attendance at entertainment
venues
, with a
further
classification by
admission
prices
to these
venues
in 2009. The number of
people
attending sports competitions reached 180 thousand a year,
whereas
almost 380 thousand
people
had chosen to spend their spare time in theme parks. Cinemas,
however
, are the most popular entertainment
venues
since
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
attendance soared over the period and hit a peak of 1 million and 200 thousand
people
a year. An analysis of the data on
admission
prices
shows that
such
sports events as football games correspond to higher
admission
prices
.
For example
, to attend an AFL Football game, a person needs to spend 75
dollars
for a single
ticket
. But a family, which consists of 4
people
, is expected to purchase a family
ticket
for 298
dollars
. A visit to theme parks is the
second
in terms of money spending: a single
ticket
costs
70
dollars
, and a family
ticket
costs
210
dollars
. Despite being sports competitions, basketball and cricket are worth visiting since single tickets cost 34 and 24
dollars
each. Given that a visit to the cinema is the most popular among the population, it is not surprising that a single
ticket
costs
only 15
dollars
,
whereas
a family
ticket
costs
55
dollars
.
Admission
prices
to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
entertainment
venues
in 2009 are the main factor of
people
`s choice on how they want to spend their spare time.
Submitted by vol.nikita on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 73%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words venues, admission, prices, people, dollars, ticket, costs with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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