IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. State your own opinion in about 300 words. Give illustrations and examples

#people #information #research #business #world #illustrations
We are in a transition period where the world is moving from
software
Correct article usage
the software
show examples
 era to
data
Correct article usage
the data
show examples
 era. In modern industries, artificial intelligence and machine learning are the most dominant technologies
that
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 being used to
imrpove
Correct your spelling
improve
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
revenues and lead the market. So,
anykind
Correct your spelling
any kind
 of critical
information
 can be used for the rising or downfall of an organization.
Hence
, I
also
 believe that some
information
need
Change the verb form
needs
show examples
 to be kept
secretely
Correct your spelling
secretly
 without
disclousing
Correct your spelling
disclosing
 to
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
. Mainly, in
business
Add an article
the business
show examples
domain
Add a comma
,domain
show examples
 there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 some standard
information
 that has to be secured without sharing with other companies.
For example
, the list of key customers or clients who are
genrating
Correct your spelling
generating
 the main revenue streams to the company is one
such
information
Correct quantifier usage
piece of information
show examples
. If
such
 a list is leaked to a competitor, they might be ended up
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
aquiring
Correct your spelling
acquiring
 those customers by providing various discounts and all.
This
 will badly impact the
first
 company and their revenues will be degraded soon. When it comes to academic or scientific researches, students and scientists spend years of time full of
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 and dedication to come up with
reasonble
Correct your spelling
reasonable
 findings. Those outputs can create remarkable turning points in health, technology, business, military and many other areas. Multinational companies can make billions of income by using
these kind
Change the determiner
this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of findings in their productions.
However
, whoever the original researcher
also
 need to be
awaraded
Correct your spelling
awarded
 and
recongnized
Correct your spelling
recognized
 in
such
 a case.
Hence
, it is not a wise decision to share all the findings
freaa
Correct your spelling
free
 of charge in
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
 domain.
Finally
, there are set of
crtical
Correct your spelling
critical
 data in each and every industry or
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
organization
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 should not
Correct your spelling
disclose
disclouse
Add a missing verb
be disclouse
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media platforms or mas
medias
Correct your spelling
media
show examples
. If anyone
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
those
Change the determiner
that information
show examples
information
, there should be a process to follow and
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
payment to be made as well.
Submitted by suga.ek on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: