In some countries young people are not only richer, but also safer and healthier than ever before. However, they are often less happy. What do you think are the reasons for this and what can be done to keep?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is undeniable truth is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
young
Add an article
the young
show examples
generation are playing a vital role for a nation economical enlargement. While , some individuals
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
often argued that,
although
Linking Words
they are living a standard life
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
they are so dejected now. In, the forthcoming essay, I will explain some reasons and some solutions regarding
this
Linking Words
development.
To begin
Linking Words
with, the predominant reason, why adolescents are becoming despondent, despite
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
all modern facilities are available in their life because they give more value
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
their profession and materialistic things. For achieving their passion they leave their home and family.when they got everything in their life they started feel
longly
Replace the adverb
long
show examples
. For that reason, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
no one with whom, they can share their problems and pain.
For example
Linking Words
,
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
health
organisation
Fix the agreement mistake
organisations
show examples
say, 50%
young
Change preposition
of young
show examples
people are
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
effected
Correct your spelling
affected
show examples
by depression because they live alone.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they always think luxurious
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
, cars, brought happiness but at the end of the
day
Add a comma
,day
show examples
they miss
warmth
Add an article
the warmth
show examples
of love.
However
Linking Words
,
on the other hand
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
problem going to big in present
time
Use synonyms
Linking Words
therefore
Add the comma(s)
,therefore
show examples
, in past people live with extended family but in the modern
time
Use synonyms
,
thus
Linking Words
to live with
nuclear
Add an article
the nuclear
a nuclear
show examples
family , youngsters did not open up. To solve
this
Linking Words
problem, the government should launch
a
Change the article
an
show examples
awareness campaign program in social media and in schools
usefulness
Correct article usage
the usefulness
show examples
of family and friends.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, parents should spend quality
time
Use synonyms
with juveniles and
also
Linking Words
try to help them to open up with family. To conclude, happiness
depend
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
on mental peace to find it ;we need to reduce dependence on things and
also
Linking Words
have to spend
time
Use synonyms
with close people.
Submitted by mahmuduts on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Elderly
  • Accumulated wisdom
  • Tradition and history
  • Guidance
  • Family life
  • Cultural practices
  • Innovation
  • Technological advancement
  • Economic productivity
  • Adaptable
  • Globalized societies
  • Physical attributes
  • Labor force
  • Economic growth
What to do next:
Look at other essays: