Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for ex.., through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In may cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development

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They are two main views about the working place. While one group of people believe that having a job position in a company for

long

Change the article

a long

show examples

time is not beneficial, another group agree that it has got some advantages. I strongly agree with the

first

Linking Words

idea. On the one hand, working years are the main part of our life and it puts some serious effects on our personality and lifestyle which are undeniable. It is commonly believed that working in the same company for

long

Change the article

a long

show examples

time deter us from negative risks

such

Linking Words

as new atmosphere and the new line of business, importantly

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

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a good opportunity for looking to other sides of our life.

For instance

Linking Words

, workers have more holidays which they can spend with their families.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, In my point of view, we always are thirsty for new experiences and want more than we have, so with the same office place we are not satisfied. There are several reasons

beside

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besides

show examples

this

Linking Words

opinion.

First

Linking Words

, some people agree that there is a strong

relation

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relationship

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between the

risk

Use synonyms

which we

taken

Add the auxiliary verb

have taken

took

show examples

and our achievement, bigger success

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

risk

Use synonyms

Second

Linking Words

, from

psychological

Add an article

a psychological

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perspective, if people have the same activities in their daily routine, it would be possible to

rise

Correct your spelling

raise

show examples

the

risk

Use synonyms

of depression between them.

Finally

Linking Words

, having great desire is the gift feature, so If

ones

Correct pronoun usage

one

show examples

wanted more job salary and job prospect, it would not happen without

hard working

Add a hyphen

hard-working

show examples

and taking the

risk

Use synonyms

. To conclude, there is a couple of idea about working place, it seems to me that there is not any positive point for having a career in one specific company for many years.

Submitted by aminpost on Tue Oct 19 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

277 words

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