Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for ex.., through cellphone tracking and security cameras). In may cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases #development

They are two main views about the working place. While one group of people believe that having a job position in a company for

long

Change the article

a long

show examples

time is not beneficial, another group agree that it has got some advantages. I strongly agree with the

first

idea. On the one hand, working years are the main part of our life and it puts some serious effects on our personality and lifestyle which are undeniable. It is commonly believed that working in the same company for

long

Change the article

a long

show examples

time deter us from negative risks

such

as new atmosphere and the new line of business, importantly

its

Replace the word

it's

it is

show examples

a good opportunity for looking to other sides of our life.

For instance

, workers have more holidays which they can spend with their families.

On the other hand

, In my point of view, we always are thirsty for new experiences and want more than we have, so with the same office place we are not satisfied. There are several reasons

beside

Replace the word

besides

show examples

this

opinion.

First

, some people agree that there is a strong

relation

Replace the word

relationship

show examples

between the

risk

which we

taken

Add the auxiliary verb

have taken

took

show examples

and our achievement, bigger success

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

risk

Second

, from

psychological

Add an article

a psychological

show examples

perspective, if people have the same activities in their daily routine, it would be possible to

rise

Correct your spelling

raise

show examples

the

risk

of depression between them.

Finally

, having great desire is the gift feature, so If

ones

Correct pronoun usage

one

show examples

wanted more job salary and job prospect, it would not happen without

hard working

Add a hyphen

hard-working

show examples

and taking the

risk

. To conclude, there is a couple of idea about working place, it seems to me that there is not any positive point for having a career in one specific company for many years.

Submitted by aminpost on Tue Oct 19 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

277 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.5

Complete response

5.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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Fully explain your ideas

The number of people who are fat and overweight are much higher than previous generations. What are the reasons? What can be done to solve those problems?

In many countries, it is common for families to own and run their own businesses. Some people think this is the best way to run a business, while others consider this a potential source of problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In some countries it is now illegal to reject someone applying for a job because of his or her age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

Junk food advertising has a harmful effect on society and should be banned. To what extent do you agree or disagree?