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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

CHILDREN LEARN MORE BY OBSERVING THE BEHAVIOUR OF ADULTS. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE? GIVE YOUR OPINION WITH RELEVANT EXAMPLES

#children #behaviour #adults
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The toddlers observe the activities of their
parents
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 and behaviour.
i
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I
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 strongly agree that
kids
Use synonyms
 observing and learning of what their
parents
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 are doing can go to negative or positive or the infant. they catch all the talks and observe. I will elaborate on my view in
this
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 essay.
Firstly
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,
myraid
Correct your spelling
myriad
 of people observe,
this
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 is
parents
Use synonyms
 responsibility to think what they are talking each other in front of the toddlers. it can be a learning for them or it can give
negative
Add an article
a negative
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 effect
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
kids
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. because
kids
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 observe all the small activities and talks they keep
this
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 in their mind.
Therefore
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 if the
parents
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 are fighting or arguing and saying anything abusing it can be a negative impact on the infant. ,
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Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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kids
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 get into depression if there are fighting in front of them, and it can affect their growth. For ,instance there is a survey
Correct pronoun usage
that happen
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happen
Wrong verb form
happened
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 in one of the cities in India, from the oxford university professor
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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have found that those
kids
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 are more in depression and feeling insecure and lonely. I strongly agree that infants are observing all the activities of pupils and they can learn and get
a negative effects
Correct the article-noun agreement
negative effects
a negative effect
show examples
 from their surroundings. for ,instance in Canada mostly
parents
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 are teaching their
kids
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 and according to them
kids
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 understand their expressions and observe them well. In conclusion, a myriad of people
think
Change the verb form
thinks
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 that children are observing and behaving as per their
surrounding
Fix the agreement mistake
surroundings
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 and
this
Linking Words
 can affect them in negative or positive both the way. so
parents
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 should speak or do that
activityactivities
Correct your spelling
activity activities
 what they want their
kids
Use synonyms
 to learn .
Submitted by chinmay.tandon on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Imitation
  • Observational learning
  • Role model
  • Social learning theory
  • Behavioral influence
  • Skill acquisition
  • Cognition
  • Socialization
  • Critical thinking
  • Direct instruction
  • Cultural transmission
  • Media influence
  • Norms and values
  • Cognitive development
  • Guidance
  • Active participation
  • Behavioural patterns
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