Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

I
am strongly disagree
Change the verb form
strongly disagree
show examples
with the opinion of
children
should be able to
use
their
phones
while they are at
school
during learning hours. There should be no world in which
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
under the age of 13 are allowed to
use
mobile
devices
during a day of
school
. Gen Z is a human generation defined by the fact that people born in
this
generation are exposed to the internet and smart
devices
since they were born.
Consequently
,
children
are now more addicted to their smart
devices
than ever before.
This
constant stimulation of the brain is something the human brain is not evolved to process and balance out. Meaning, in most cases,
smartphones
, or portable smart
devices
in general
Add the comma(s)
, in general,
show examples
are very harmful to the brain’s reward system, rendering the
children
unable to be motivated to study
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
or participate in physical activities. Having
children
using their
phones
at
school
is a disaster for education. Modern
smartphones
with many functionalities and applications designed to capture the
users
Change to a genitive case
user's
users'
show examples
attention are direct competitions to the education happening in
school
. Even if schools ban the
use
of
smartphones
during class and only allow
breaktime
Correct your spelling
break time
show examples
usage, the presence of the
devices
and the urge to
use
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
alone is enough to steer the attention of the students away from the lecture and
having
Change the form of the verb
have
show examples
them
thinking
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
about what they would do in their app of choice in half an hour. Human’s attention and
will power
Correct your spelling
willpower
show examples
is not limitless, and having
phones
in schools’ perimeter is not ideal for preserving it for learning. The exception could be the
use
of “dumb”
phones
for communicating with parents only. But no one in the right mind should regulate the
use
of
smartphones
at schools.
Submitted by Andy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distraction
  • Cyberbullying
  • Concentration
  • Emergency communication
  • Digital literacy
  • Educational resources
  • Social development
  • Self-regulation
  • Enforcement
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Technology access
  • Learning apps
  • Screen time
  • Peer interaction
  • School policy
What to do next:
Look at other essays: