Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

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Many people believe that adolescents have to take part in a
n u
Remove the article
apply

The indefinite article, an, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun work in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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npaid work to support the n
eighborhood
Change the spelling
neighbourhood

The spelling of neighborhood is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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in their leisure time. Young adults can gain a lot of skills as well as cater t
heir
Change preposition
for their

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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community. But from my p
erspective
Add a comma
,perspective

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase from my perspective. Consider adding a comma.

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I don’t totally agree with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

idea because of c
ouple
Change the article
a couple

It appears that the phrase couple does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

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of reasons below:
Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, most o
f h
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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igh
Add an article
the high

The phrase most of high school may require the use of the article the. Consider inserting the before the noun in your sentence.

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school students are very busy with their s
tudy
Fix the agreement mistake
studies

It seems that study may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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at school. They attend all classes almost every day i
n
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the week. Many teenagers feel o
verwhelming
Wrong verb form
overwhelmed

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb overwhelming. Consider changing it.

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with their homework and examinations each semester.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they should be urging play some sports to improve h
ealth
Correct pronoun usage
their health

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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or hang out with peers in their free time.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, forcing people d
o
Add the particle
to do

It appears that the verb do should be in the to-infinitive form. Consider adding the word to.

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unpaid work without their willingness is not fail in our society. S
pecially,
Replace the word
Especially

The word Specially may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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for young a
dult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults

It seems that adult may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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- our future generation. It leads to serious consequences
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as they can feel d
emotivate
Wrong verb form
demotivated

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb demotivate. Consider changing it.

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and cannot complete their task properly.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it can affect their perspective they may not don’t keen on social activities when they grow up.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I reckon adolescents should g
etting
Change the form of the verb
get

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb getting. Consider changing it.

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involved in local community activities to cater t
heir
Change preposition
for their

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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n
eighborhood.
Change the spelling
neighbourhood

The spelling of neighborhood is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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It is a good way to learn how to get and give.
Besides
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

that, a lot of skills and good c
haracteristic
Fix the agreement mistake
characteristics

It seems that characteristic may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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will be developed. All in all, I don’t agree that all teenagers have to be a volunteer in the community in their spare time without their pressure event thought both government and each individual gain huge of beneficial form
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

work.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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