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Band 4

Demand for gas and oil is increasing and so finding new sources in remote and untouched areas is a necessity. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#demand #gas #oil #sources #areas #necessity #outweigh
In
contemporary
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the contemporary
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 era,
manufacture
Correct article usage
the manufacture
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 of
vehicles
 get increased and the demand for
fuel
also
 increased and due to
that small towns
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that small town
those small towns
show examples
 and rural areas which are at far not able to get
the
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apply
show examples
enough quantity of that.
Thats
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That's
That
 why the find the alternative of
that
is become
Change to the active voice
becomes
has become
show examples
 a
nessesity
Correct your spelling
necessity
. Finding the new source
have
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has
show examples
definatly
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definitely
have
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had
show examples
 more advantages. Electric
vehicles
 are more popular
for
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as
show examples
 alternative, it
make
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makes
show examples
 less
polution
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pollution
 in
environment
 compare to those
transpotation
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transportation
whic
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which
 are run of petrol or
diesal
Correct your spelling
diesel
.
Nowdays
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Nowadays
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electricity
easily
Add a missing verb
is easily
show examples
get
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gets
show examples
 available to any corner of the nation so it is the best option for
vehicles
 and for other machines. We can generate
electricity
 from sunlight,
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wind power
show examples
windpower
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wind power
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 station,
from
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apply
show examples
turbine
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turbines
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 and so on. The process of generating the
electricity
 is less or
sometime
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sometimes
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 have zero percentage of
polution
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pollution
 in
in
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apply
show examples
environment
. Compared to gas and oil,
electricity
 is cheaper and anyone can afford it. People no more need to wait to get
fuel
 from
city
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the city
show examples
, they can use
electricity
 as
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
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 option.
For instance
, after the hike of price of petrol and LPG, people in
rurle
Correct your spelling
rural
 area not able to afford it and it get more expensive to transport that service to them,
thus
 they use electric machines and
vehicles
.
Moreover
, The level or quantity of natural
fuel
are
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is
show examples
 getting a less
day
 by
day
 and using other option of it are more
usefull
Correct your spelling
useful
 to us and nature, because for more natural gas and oil government need to do
diforestation
Correct your spelling
deforestation
reforestation
 and that harms the
environment
. Due to cutting trees and woods, the level
or
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of
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 heat
incrased
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increased
 in
environment
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the environment
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 and that causes
geenhouse
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greenhouse
 effect more. Government need to manage more places and need to spend more on the machine to fetch
fuel
 from the deep level of
earth
Add an article
the earth
show examples
 surface.
For example
, in Japan
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 spend almost 30 billion on fule project and due to that citizens need to suffer from the high price of
day
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the day
show examples
 to
day
 service and products. In
conclution
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conclusion
, finding the new energy source in
aread
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areas
 which are have less contact with
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the center
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center
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centre
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 of
city
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the city
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 is good but that source
not
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does not
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 need to harmful to us and
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 and easily available to all of us than it more
benefisial
Correct your spelling
beneficial
ratther
Correct your spelling
rather
 than is
dimerits
Correct your spelling
demerits
merits
.
Submitted by mulchand.sen16 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • fostering innovations
  • renewable energy sources
  • energy security
  • geopolitical tensions
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • infrastructure development
  • environmental risks
  • habitat destruction
  • irreversible damage
  • perpetuates dependence
  • transitioning
  • indigenous and local communities
  • ethical and social challenges
What to do next:
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