IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

the growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in cities and towns closing. Do you agree or disagree

#growth #shops #cities #towns
It is said an increasing number of people choose to
shop
 online, leading more stores in shopping malls to close. I totally disagree with the idea as shopping in real stores brings a lot of benefits. Convenience can be seen in online shopping. People could purchase items easily after placing their orders and finishing the online payment.
However
, it is impossible for customers to check the quality--which is vital to a product when shopping on digital screens. They are possibly be cheated by fancy pictures and economical prices. What's more, delivery time is more likely to be affected by a series of conditions like bad weather, traffic congestion and remote distances. After all, internet consumers have to wait for a few days before they get their parcels. In
this
 way, shopping in shopping centres tends to be more reliable.
Firstly
, you get your ideal products immediately after checking and comparing items in a couple of boutiques. You may
also
 get brand-guaranteed and post-buying services.
Secondly
, you could get help from
shop
 assistants who are usually professional and passionate if you want. They could offer you detailed and tailored advice.
Finally
, shopping not only means the buying behaviour solely. It actually includes a series of procedures helping the massive be immersed in and
thus
 arouse the desire to
shop
.
For example
, most real shops decorate their display windows to catch buyers' attention. When the targeted population step into the
shop
, they are involved in decent background music and fragment. Snacks, drinks and comfortable seats are accessible as well. All of these combine to shape an enjoyable buying journey, with which online shopping could hardly catch up. In conclusion, various buying channels are good for customers and their interests. When taking the advantage of purchasing online, going to the real
shop
 is
also
 a smart choice that should not be lost.
Submitted by kev4313 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: