some people think that success in life comes form hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #success #life #form #work #determination #factors #money #appearance

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Nowadays,

success

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has become a broad issue. Many individuals consider that

success

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Correct your spelling

show examples

life

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comes from working hard and effort

while

Linking Words

others think that poverty and

appearance

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are more important factors.

This

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writer believes the idea that

success

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life

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comes from

money

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and

appearance

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Firstly

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, it is widely acknowledged that

money

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and

appearance

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play a vital role in

success

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life

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. A very important contributor in

life

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. The first reason is that

money

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enables

people

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to reach their deep desires like power and frame.

For example

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, if

people

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have a great deal of wealth, they have countless opportunities to progress rapidly in their

career

Fix the agreement mistake

careers

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or be well-known in the community that they desire.

Furthermore

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, personal

appearance

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is one of the crucial factors impacting achievement.

For instance

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, it would be a good chance for candidates to seek a job if they indicate their confident body posture or

wearing

Wrong verb form

wear

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clothing apart from great skills and experiences.

Otherwise

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, it is undeniable that hard work and power are necessary features which are pivotable to ensure victory in the field.

Firstly

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hard work helps

people

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gain some valuable experiences in different aspects of

life

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. To illustrate my point, if

young

Add an article

the young

a young

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student practices several times, some kinds of assignments in college and at home, they are likely to minimize the risk of repeating the same mistakes so they have the tendency to get high scores in the formal exam.

Secondly

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, determination gives us the motivation to set up goals which become the foundation of

success

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As a result

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this

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is an essential skill to help

people

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overcome complex problems in all situations and always keep moving forward to reach long-term goals. In Conclusion,

although

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money

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and personal

appearance

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have an influence on achievement, it seems to me that hard work and determination are dominant factors in achieving the highest achievement.

Submitted by [email protected] on Tue Mar 26 2024

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Task Response

Ensure your essay introduction clearly presents both views and your own opinion to give a concise roadmap of your discussion. This helps in guiding the reader through your essay more effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion

Develop your paragraphs with clear main ideas followed by supporting details. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that clearly states the main point you will discuss.

Task Achievement

Use relevant examples to support your arguments. While you provided some, making them more specific and directly linked to the topic can strengthen your points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Work on your essay's coherence by ensuring smooth and logical transitions between sentences and paragraphs. Using connecting words and phrases can help achieve this.

General Advice

Be cautious with spelling and grammar to maintain the professionalism and clarity of your essay. Regular practice and review of grammar rules can be beneficial.

Task Response

Engage with both views more evenly in your discussion. While you presented both sides, deepen your analysis of each viewpoint before stating your position.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

305 words

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some people think that success in life comes form hard work and determination, while others think that there are more important factors such as money and appearance. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Your opinion

The picture below shows Bell Hill farm in 1976 and the changes that took place in 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparison where relevant.

some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion.

n some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

When people live in a foreign country, they should follow local traditions and customs. Do you agree or not?