IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some countries are considering imposing curfews in which teenagers will not be allowed outdoors at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this policy?

#countries #curfews #teenagers #night #adult #policy
The world today is getting more modernized every day. Teenager's want more freedom to act and be their natural selves. Compulsory curfews at
night
 unless been watched by an adult might have some advantages but I'm of the opinion that the negative consequence is far greater.
Firstly
, many might argue that the positive impact of the
night
 curfew is young ones are kept from witnessing crimes or joining bad gangs when going out at midnight alone.
However
, restricting the movement of the youths at midnight won'
t
 solve the problem alternatively result in less social life for growth and development for the youth.
Additionally
, constant monitoring will limit youngsters from the ability to take care or be by themselves as they grow into an adult.
Furthermore
, creating an environment that doesn'
t
 allow freedom to adolescents at any time can affect the social responsibility of the youth of that country.
For instance
, youths love taking strolls at
night
 either with a friend or loved one, not being allowed
this
 opportunity can affect how they connect with others socially.
Also
, restraint and control might lead to rebellious acts like lying to parents just to go out at midnight and various other ways just to gain freedom. In conclusion, it is undeniable that controlling juveniles with adults supervisions and curfews isn'
t
 going to be the solution to any problem.
Nevertheless
, we need to give younger ones the chance to decide for themselves what they want to do. We can'
t
 forcefully make them stay at home all
night
, but ,
instead
Add a comma
,instead
show examples
 help to eradicate the negative effects of staying outside at any given time. I personally believe there are various more options to control crime while giving
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers the right to move around at any particular time. Doing
otherwise
 is only going to affect their upbringing negatively.
Submitted by stephenoyenekan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: