As water is valuable resource, governments all over the world should control how much water their citizens use. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Water
is a very important resource, and even though technology has made our lives better, we still need to be careful with how we
use
it. Some
people
think that because we have a lot of
water
, there is no need to limit how much we
use
.
However
, I believe that
governments
should control how much
water
people
use
to protect
future
generations and help poorer countries. If
water
were unlimited, we wouldn't need to worry about using too much. But in reality, the amount of
water
we can
use
is limited.
This
is why
governments
and international organizations should work together to save
water
for the
future
. Just like our ancestors saved resources for us, we need to do the same for
future
generations. If we don't,
people
in the
future
might face big problems.
Also
, limiting
water
use
is important to make sure everyone gets a fair share. Many poor countries still don’t have enough
water
.
While
some
people
use
water
for fun activities, others struggle to find enough to drink.
This
is why
governments
should set rules to stop wasting
water
.
For example
, in Korea, a mayor criticized a '
Water
Bomb Festival' where a lot of
water
was used for fun.
This
made
people
think more carefully about how they
use
water
, and the government created new rules.
This
shows how
governments
can help communities save
water
. In conclusion, because
water
is limited and valuable,
governments
should work to save it for
future
generations and for those who don’t have enough. Without good actions and rules, we can’t expect a good
future
. We all need to understand the importance of saving
water
.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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task achievement
Consider incorporating a more nuanced view by discussing potential drawbacks of government regulation, such as the possibility of overreach or the challenge of implementing fair policies. This would provide a more balanced approach to the essay.
coherence cohesion
To boost the coherence and cohesion, try to use more transitional words and phrases to link your ideas. For instance, using phrases like 'In addition,' 'Furthermore,' or 'On the other hand' can guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
task achievement
Provide at least one more relevant specific example to further support your argument. The example from Korea is excellent, but having more examples, possibly global ones, would make your argument even stronger.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets a clear tone and presents the main argument effectively.
task achievement
The essay contains clear and comprehensive ideas, making a strong case for government regulation of water use.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively reinforces the main points of the essay and provides a strong closing statement.

Fully explain your ideas

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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