IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

As water is valuable resource, governments all over the world should control how much water their citizens use. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#water #resource #governments #world #control #citizens
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Water
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 is a very important resource, and even though technology has made our lives better, we still need to be careful with how we
use
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 it. Some
people
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 think that because we have a lot of
water
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, there is no need to limit how much we
use
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.
However
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, I believe that
governments
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 should control how much
water
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people
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use
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 to protect
future
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 generations and help poorer countries. If
water
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 were unlimited, we wouldn't need to worry about using too much. But in reality, the amount of
water
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 we can
use
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 is limited.
This
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 is why
governments
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 and international organizations should work together to save
water
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 for the
future
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. Just like our ancestors saved resources for us, we need to do the same for
future
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 generations. If we don't,
people
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 in the
future
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 might face big problems.
Also
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, limiting
water
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use
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 is important to make sure everyone gets a fair share. Many poor countries still don’t have enough
water
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.
While
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 some
people
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use
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water
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 for fun activities, others struggle to find enough to drink.
This
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 is why
governments
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 should set rules to stop wasting
water
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.
For example
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, in Korea, a mayor criticized a '
Water
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 Bomb Festival' where a lot of
water
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 was used for fun.
This
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 made
people
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 think more carefully about how they
use
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water
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, and the government created new rules.
This
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 shows how
governments
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 can help communities save
water
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. In conclusion, because
water
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 is limited and valuable,
governments
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 should work to save it for
future
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 generations and for those who don’t have enough. Without good actions and rules, we can’t expect a good
future
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. We all need to understand the importance of saving
water
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.
Submitted by i.nureddinn on

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task achievement
Consider incorporating a more nuanced view by discussing potential drawbacks of government regulation, such as the possibility of overreach or the challenge of implementing fair policies. This would provide a more balanced approach to the essay.
coherence cohesion
To boost the coherence and cohesion, try to use more transitional words and phrases to link your ideas. For instance, using phrases like 'In addition,' 'Furthermore,' or 'On the other hand' can guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.
task achievement
Provide at least one more relevant specific example to further support your argument. The example from Korea is excellent, but having more examples, possibly global ones, would make your argument even stronger.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets a clear tone and presents the main argument effectively.
task achievement
The essay contains clear and comprehensive ideas, making a strong case for government regulation of water use.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively reinforces the main points of the essay and provides a strong closing statement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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