IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Write about the following topic: 'Nowadays, news companies spend a lot of money covering international news. However, local news is more relevant to people's lives and should receive more funding.' To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#topic #news #companies #money #people #lives
Almost all the
media
 outlets cover not only local
news
 but
also
 global
news
. While local
news
 impacts people in a closer and more relevant way, I do not agree that more budget should be utilized on local
content
.
Firstly
, gathering local information, naturally, needs
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 resources compared to sourcing
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
data from outside.
Secondly
, local
news
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 limited and excess funding would eventually go to waste. Various types of
cost
Fix the agreement mistake
costs
show examples
 go into
sourcing
Add an article
the sourcing
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
international
news
. These include expenses for the crew members
such
 as transportation and accommodation; translators and guides; and even security at war zones, just to name a few. Even if the
broading
Correct your spelling
broadening
 stations do not send their own crew, they will still need to pay the local
media
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 other countries for the information that they are receiving.
On the other hand
, gathering
news
 locally is less costly as
such
 expenses will not even incur.
Therefore
, it is not necessary to spend more
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 local
content
. No matter how big a country is, there are only so
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 happenings in it that are worthy to be in the
news
.
Additonally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, all the local
media
 agencies will be covering the same pieces of local
news
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
.
Abundent
Correct your spelling
Abundant
 funding for internal
content
 might actually go to waste.
However
, if
insufficient
Add an article
the insufficient
an insufficient
show examples
 fund is given to the global
news
 department, it might negatively impact the
media
 agencies as they could miss out some important global
news
. To conclude, both local information and internation
content
 are equally
imporant
Correct your spelling
important
 to be covered by the
news
 agencies. Due to the limited amount of
news
 to be covered locally and its cost efficiency, I feel that it is not logical to provide more funding for the local
news
 than what is actually necessary.
Submitted by Wai on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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