In the modern era, governments have been significantly investing vast sums in artworks. Some proponents argue that this substantial artistic investment could be more judiciously directed towards other essential sectors.
In the modern era,
governments
have been significantly investing vast sums in artworks. Some proponents argue that this
substantial artistic investment
could be more judiciously directed towards other essential sectors. The author of this
essay firmly contends that authorities should prioritize public infrastructure due to
its enduring positive impact and to avert potential degradation resulting from inadequate economic development
.
It is imperative to acknowledge that allocating a substantial portion of the budget to artistic endeavors
poses economic risks. To elaborate, notwithstanding citizens' high demand for aesthetic experiences through grand sculptures or paintings, which seem to enrich their lives, Change the spelling
endeavours
governments
should exercise prudent fiscal management by balancing their support for the arts with crucial public programs such
as healthcare and education. Failure to do so will inevitably lead to mounting debt over time, as the returns and incentives from art institutions are virtually negligible. For example
, American authorities consistently prioritize funding for practical development
in transportation and education, often using artistic posters displayed on buses and university halls as effective means of promoting the arts.
However
, there are opponents who advocate for government involvement in art development
, citing its potential to shape global perceptions of their country. While
this
viewpoint holds merit to some extent, it is essential to consider the sustained benefits of investments, whether on a familial or national scale. In essence, while
expanding the artistic domain may enhance cultural prowess, excessive investment
in this
area becomes unnecessary when other sectors are far more critical.
Based on the author's experience, it is strongly recommended that increased government interest in the arts must be accompanied by meticulous record-keeping. In other words
, regardless of the budget allocated to art, it is essential to promptly implement economic regulations and stricter laws to govern these investments. By doing so, governments
can avoid accruing debt and foster sustainable development
.
In conclusion, the risk of leaving countries burdened with insurmountable debt and neglecting essential services such
as healthcare and education underscores the need for prudent investment
strategies. Therefore
, to strike a balance between artistic investment
and public programs, governments
must maintain meticulous financial records, lest their investments become redundant and efforts futile.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
While the essay addresses the task effectively, there is room for improvement in the use of specific examples to support the arguments. Including more precise data or case studies can further enhance the essay's task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured and the introduction and conclusion are clearly presented. However, smoother transitions between some paragraphs would improve the coherence and cohesion score. Consider using transitional phrases to link ideas more seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
Maintain a balanced focus on both arguments. While the essay does consider counterarguments, a more in-depth analysis of opposing views would strengthen the overall discussion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are effectively constructed, providing a clear overview of the essay's main arguments and summarizing them well.
task achievement
The essay thoroughly addresses the task by discussing both sides of the argument and providing a clear position. This demonstrates a strong understanding of the task response criterion.
coherence cohesion
The main points are well-supported with logical reasoning, showcasing the writer's ability to articulate clear and comprehensive ideas.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.