Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#countries #refugees #assistance #food

As the more dramatically the

world

is changing, the bigger disparity between rich and poor becomes. Developed

countries

are making progress much faster and seem to outweigh the rest of the

world

Therefore

, it is believed that those

countries

should allow more displaced people coming from other developing

countries

and provide them with basic assistance like food and accommodation.

This

essay is aimed at discussing

this

idea before giving my own opinion about it.

First

of all, that those

weathy

Correct your spelling

wealthy

countries

accept more refugees is really a huge supply of

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

force. Indeed, they

are developed

Change the verb form

have developed

show examples

countries

that have the smallest rate of newborn

Correct your spelling

child

child's

childs

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

such

as Germany, England or France. Especially, the rate of infants in Japan is under 0

percent

Change the spelling

per cent

show examples

, which will result in a lack of workers for the work environment in the near future. Overmore, providing foreigners with appropriate support will attract more gifted ones coming to work for them. Those who can study and work abroad are the greatest individuals of their

conntries

Correct your spelling

countries

For example

Correct article usage

the Australia

show examples

Australia

Correct your spelling

Australian

show examples

government is willing to pay all of the

cost

Fix the agreement mistake

costs

show examples

during

oversea

Correct your spelling

overseas

show examples

student's study, and

as a result

, Australia is owning one of the most developing education in all over the

world

On the other hand

, too many refugees are truly a threat to the job market of the

countries

. People come from other

countries

, and take the jobs that should be belonged to the

local

Fix the agreement mistake

locals

show examples

. Take Japan as an example, it is one of the biggest economies,

however

, it is

also

putting up with the highest rate of unemployment.

Last

but not least, it can cause a lot of social problems,

such

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

crimes, robbery, violence, etc. In conclusion, the

phenomena

Fix the agreement mistake

phenomenon

show examples

of the increasing numbers of refugees remains a heart-touching issue in the eyes of humankind all around the

world

, in which the whole global need to cooperate to achieve its disappearance all for the benefit of humans.

Submitted by minhneuforworks on Fri Oct 22 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

319 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Refugees
Asylum seekers
Humanitarian aid
Integration
Multiculturalism
Economic impact
Public services
International law
Conventions relating to the status of refugees
Labor market
Cultural enrichment
Burden-sharing
Resettlement programs
Host country
Border security
Comprehensive policy

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Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance, such as food and housing. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Whether or not someone achieves their aims is mostly by a question of luck. To what extent do you agree or not agree?

Car ownership has increased so rapidly over the past thirty years that many cities in the world are now 'one big traffic jam’’ How true do you think this statement is? What are measures can the government take to discourage people from using their cars?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?