IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #work #time #community #teenager #society
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It is broadly believed that every adolescent would not only personally benefit from spending their leisure
time
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 for jobs without payment as requested but
also
Linking Words
 provide aid to their
neighborhood
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neighbourhood
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. From my perspective, I find
this
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 point of view
favorable
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favourable
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.
Firstly
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, spending their spare
time
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 on some simple
labor
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labour
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 can be considered as an internship that helps the youth develop professionally, socially, and even emotionally. Working without the expectation of salaries or wages gives teenage boys and girls opportunities to cultivate and enhance their skills, to make social connections with their peers and superiors, and on top of it all, to learn to appreciate the meaning of the jobs.
For example
Linking Words
, volunteering at the local soup kitchen gives youngsters who are passionate
in
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about
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 cooking chances not only to do what they love
,
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apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 make friends and sharpen their skills if they want to become a chef in the future. Ultimately, at the end of the day, a sense of contentment and happiness would rise in them as they reflect on how many hungry people they have helped feed.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, contributions from male and female adolescents who
work
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 in their free
time
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 are altogether gradually making
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society a better place. Revisiting the aforementioned example of teenagers who
work
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 in the local soup kitchen for free, it can be asserted that they are, in fact, helping
laborers
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labourers
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 with lower incomes to finish their jobs of serving the society,
such
Linking Words
 as giving nutrition to street sweepers who keep the town clean. The youth’s
work
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 undoubtedly belongs to a chain reaction where one small good deed leads to another. In conclusion, I strongly believe putting adolescents to
work
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 in their free
time
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 gives them personal benefits in a variety of aspects, as well as facilitates other indirect positive influences on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
Submitted by Andy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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