In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
In our modern world, it is really convenient that
people
can purchase any food
from around the world in their local supermarket. In my opinion, besides
the benefits it may bring to individuals, I assume that this
is a negative development because of the demerits it may have on people
’s lives.
First of all, importing foreign food
to supermarkets may cause a decline in the figure for local agricultural production. This
is because people
can buy any food
that they like from all over the world, so local food
may be forgotten and will affect the economy of that country. And the
consequence of Correct word choice
The
this
trend is that farmers may face financial difficulties and struggle to sustain their livelihoods. The aforementioned situation has not only affected the farmers’ income but has also
disrupted the local economy in various ways. Moreover
, people
have to pay a certain amount of money for the
taxes on foreign Correct article usage
apply
food
, so it may be hard for some individuals to afford to buy this
cuisine.
Secondly
, consuming too much globally sourced food
in supermarkets can increase the ability for
Change preposition
of
people
to meet health
problems. In the past, humans were limited to buying foreign foods and were recommended to purchase local ones. But nowadays, too much freedom in food
choice globally can lead to several health
issues for some individuals who do not have enough knowledge. For example
, in Vietnam, according to
VTV, younger people
consume Cocacola
, a type of gas drink, more than in the past. In 1990, on average, a person drank 1 can of Correct your spelling
Coca-Cola
Cocacola
in a year, which was 60 cans, but nowadays Correct your spelling
Coca-Cola
this
number has increased to 500 per individual. It can be seen that these people
may have physical health
problems such
as obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure and even stroke.
In conclusion, although
people
can choose a lot of food
to eat, the consequences for the local economy, farmers’ income, and people
’s health
are more significant. The government should have some solutions in order to tackle this
issue.Submitted by weezel on
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task achievement
To improve task response, consider providing more specific examples or data to further substantiate your points. Additionally, address potential counterarguments to show a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, utilize more varied transition phrases and connectors to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph is distinct but clearly connected to the overall argument.
task achievement
The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt, addressing the potential negative impacts of global food availability on local economies and public health.
coherence cohesion
Each main point is well-supported with reasoning and examples, making the argument more robust and persuasive.
coherence/cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively frame the essay, giving it a clear beginning and end.