IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

People attend colleges or universities for many different reasons (for example, new experience, career preparation, interested knowledge etc). Why do you think people attend colleges or universities? You should give reasons for your answers using your own ideas and experiences.

#people #colleges #universities #career #preparation #answers #experiences
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The meaning of going to
school
Use synonyms
 has been increasingly significant in a fast-moving and dynamic society. The question here is whether people attend university for a better job opportunity or the improvement of knowledge.
However
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, I state my view that there are more potential purposes for
school
Use synonyms
 enrollment. On the one hand, there are a number of factors explaining why career prospects make a contribution to the decision of joining the academy.
First
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, formal education offers students expertise in their major, which plays an essential role in building an in-depth knowledge than those not trained in
school
Use synonyms
.
As a result
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,
this
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 helps strengthen their CVs.
For example
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, the recruitment managers have a tendency to prefer the undergraduate to others not having an educational qualification, which gives students more chances to be accepted in the vacancies.
Therefore
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, that will prompt more people to study at an educational institution.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is believed that there are other reasons for participation in educational institutes. On the individual, students can extend their relationship networking broadening their horizon from different viewpoints and attitudes of other cultures, races, ethics. On the macro level, the more the studiers prioritize higher education, the more
this
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 creates a higher-skilled labour force in the market.
Consequently
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, job performance will be boosted in the workplace down the road. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 there are several reasons influencing a person’s decision to make a commitment to the university, not only being successful in life but
also
Linking Words
 good comprehension may be vital to promote people going to
school
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by inapptrial1 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • stepping stone
  • tailored educational programs
  • equip
  • desired careers
  • pursuit
  • passion
  • personal fulfillment
  • intellectual satisfaction
  • networking opportunities
  • alumni
  • career advancements
  • diverse perspectives
  • personal development
  • independence
  • time management
  • self-discipline
  • financial management
  • competitive edge
  • job market
  • prerequisite
  • potential earnings
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