IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some high school students work part-time in addition to going to school. what are the advantages and disadvantages of high school students having part-time jobs?

#school #students #work #addition #jobs
Some
students
work
 outside of their
school
 hours to earn extra
money
. As with anything else, there are both positive and negative aspects to it.
This
 essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of
students
 working part-time jobs. Through their part-time jobs, they will find out the value of
money
. Working will
also
 teach them that they need to
work
 hard to get what they want. Usually,
students
 get pocket
money
 from their parents to buy things they want. If the pocket
money
 is not enough, they simply ask for more from their parents, without giving much thought about how hard their parents need to
work
 to support them. Working outside will teach youngers life experiences, that cannot be taught at
school
. These experiences will help them face the world when they grow up. They will
also
 make more friends and acquaintances in their working life. These are some of the benefits that
students
 will receive by working after
school
.
Students
 usually need to spend at least five to six hours at
school
 for their study and they still need to
work
 on their homework afterwards. Working part-time might affect the
students
' study, especially if they are not good at managing their schedules. If they spend their leisure time earning extra pocket
money
, they might not be able to spend time with their friends and families. One possible drawback of teenagers working part-time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is that they might enjoy working too much that they might want to give up on their studies.
This
 could happen if they originally do not have much interest in
school
work
. In conclusion, while working gives life lessons to
students
, they need to know their capacity and find balance in
school
, study,
work
 and home. These are the benefits and drawbacks of high
school
students
 working part-time.
Submitted by Wai on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: