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Writing Samples
Band 5

Air transport is increasingly use to exported fruits and vegetables to countries where they can not be grown or out of seasons . What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

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Exporting
fruits
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 and
vegetables
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 to other countries with
airplanes
Change the spelling
aeroplanes
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 has become a vital topic of debate.
Although
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 there are various benefits to
this
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 approach, the drawbacks should not be ignored which will be discussed in
this
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 essay. First of all, nowadays,
due to
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 climate change and global warming, it is essential for both governments and
people
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 to help in decreasing carbon dioxide footprints. So,
transport
Correct article usage
the transport
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local
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of local
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products
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to
Change preposition
apply
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overseas can significantly lead to
produce
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the production of
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 excessive
Co2
Correct your spelling
CO2
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. By placing more emphasis on the harmful consequences of
this
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 trend, it is noticeable that exporting
fruits
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 and
vegetables
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 not only can contribute to
emission
Correct article usage
the emission
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 Co2
,
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apply
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but can
also
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 lead to increasing the prices of these
products
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 for local
people
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.
For instance
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, if factories and agricultures desire to export too many
products
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such
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 as bananas or ginger,
this
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 will lead to increasing the prices of these kinds of
products
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.
On the other hand
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, exporting
products
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such
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 as
fruits
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 and
vegetables
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 can offer several benefits, leading to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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the
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in the
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 local avenue.
Thus
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, the government and local
people
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 can earn countless money by exporting their
products
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.
Additionally
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,
this
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 shift can result in creating more
jobs
Change the noun form
job
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 opportunities for local individuals.
For instance
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, many factories should be established just for preparing these
products
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, consider a factory that just produces huge boxes in order to safe transition. In conclusion,
while
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 using air transportation to export local
products
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such
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 as
vegetables
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 and
fruits
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 brings various benefits for both communities and local
people
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 as a whole,
such
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 as increasing annual avenue and creating more job opportunities, the negative consequences should not
be failed
Verb problem
apply
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such
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 as increasing both air pollution and the product prices.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea. The introduction could directly present the main points that will be discussed in the essay for better clarity.
task achievement
Develop each point further with examples or data where appropriate. Including more specific instances or statistics would strengthen your argument.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced view, discussing both advantages and disadvantages of exporting fruits and vegetables via air transport.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear introduction that outlines the structure of the essay and a conclusion that neatly summarizes the key points.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global market access
  • consumer choice
  • economic benefits
  • job creation
  • food preservation
  • carbon emissions
  • environmental concerns
  • global warming
  • climate change
  • cost implications
  • consumer costs
  • dependency on imports
  • supply chain disruptions
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