People think that success in sports mainly depends on physical abilities while others think that there are other important factors. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #success #sports #abilities #factors

In the Olympic Tokyo 2020, many

athletes

from several countries participated

this

biggest

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

event in the world. It is debatable that whether the main factor for being the

winner

is physical abilities

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

or other related factors. In

this

essay, both of these viewpoints will be discussed in detail before my perspective is reached. On the one hand, it is apparent that the main factor for being

succcesful

Correct your spelling

successful

athletes

Fix the agreement mistake

athlete

show examples

is physical

ability

. In order to be a

winner

, the

althletes

Correct your spelling

athletes

need to have

strong

Add an article

a strong

the strong

show examples

and durable

body

Fix the agreement mistake

bodies

show examples

to be ready for playing in the game.

For example

, Cristiano Ronaldo, the legend of football players in

this

decade, revealed that he trains 5 - 6

hous

Correct your spelling

hours

a day to maintain his physical

ability

to present his optimal performance in playing football. Obviously,

although

he is now 34 years old, he is still in a good shape, and able to be a vanguard for the prestigious club, Manchester United.

Therefore

, having

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

physical body prompt all

athletes

to be

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sucessful

Correct your spelling

successful

athlete.

On the other hand

, there are other factors, which are

also

imperative for being a success in

sports

such

as talents, and senses. Some

athletes

are destined to be the

winner

, who

are

Change the verb form

show examples

born with

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

extraordinary skills in playing

sports

. To illustrate, Lionel Messi, another legend of football players, who are born with the

ability

to dodge

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

obstacles, and to make scores in spite of having a small body size.

Hence

, senses and talents

also

play a crucial role in being a success of

sports

. In conclusion, in my opinion, Not only the physical

ability

is the indispensable factor for playing

sports

. Senses and talents are

also

important for being a

winner

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

sport

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

games. If

athletes

have all three factors in combination, they will absolutely be a

winner

Submitted by prokoh_ja_555 on Sat Oct 23 2021

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

302 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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