IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone (cellphone) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or disadvantages?

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In recent years, significant advancements have been made in mobile phones and
apps
Use synonyms
, which are changing the transaction methods between buyers and sellers. people are using numerous mobile applications to pay their day-to-day expenses. I believe that the pros are far better than the cons.
To begin
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 with, paying through mobile
apps
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 is the most safe way of payment as the public gets rid of keeping cash.
Also
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, they no longer need to worry about getting their money stolen by thieves.
Due to
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this
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, they feel less tense and can focus better on the other task at a time.
Apart from
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this
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, online payments save a lot of time and cashier costs for shopkeepers, which helps to grow their business by serving more customers in a limited time.
For example
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, a report presented by the Economic Times suggests that businesses having app payment options available have shown around a 10% increase in their yearly sales. On the other side, there are some undeniable drawbacks to paying through that.
Firstly
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, despite cell phone
apps
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 having promising security, there is a potential risk of fraud
as well as
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 cyber-attacks, which can steal sensitive information
such
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 as credit card details or cell phone pins.
consequently
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, the masses may have to face financial losses without their knowledge.
Furthermore
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, cell phones require a high-speed internet connection to make transactions using
apps
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.
That is
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 a difficult challenge for many countries to provide
such
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 amenities in every part of the nation as they are still developing.
To conclude
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, paying for things using phone
apps
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 certainly has concerns like safety and network barriers for some parts of the world;
However
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, I strongly believe that the economic and customer benefits of the trend are more advantageous for the population around the world.

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Introduction and Conclusion
Make sure the introduction sets the tone for the discussion and clearly presents your viewpoint. Your conclusion should reaffirm your stance and reflect on the content discussed, ensuring it aligns with the introduction.
Logical Structure
To improve coherence, ensure paragraphs naturally flow from one to the next, and the progression of ideas is clear and logical. Organize your essay into clear thematic paragraphs.
Supported Main Points
Use more specific examples and data to support your assertions, which will enhance the persuasiveness of your arguments and help anchor your discussion in reality.
Complete Response
Address the prompt fully by exploring both sides of the issue in equal measure and providing a balanced view before stating your position. Ensure your position is consistent throughout.
Clear Comprehensive Ideas
Incorporate a broader range of complex sentence structures and vocabulary to convey ideas more comprehensively and precisely, avoiding oversimplification.
Relevant Specific Examples
The examples provided should be more varied and precise to vividly illustrate your points, ensuring they are fully relevant to the essay's topic.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • safety
  • security
  • time-saving
  • cashless transactions
  • dependence on technology
  • privacy concerns
  • accessibility issues
  • financial vulnerability
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