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Band 7

Some people think that children nowadays have too much freedom. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #children #freedom
It is said that freedom is for everyone, but
for
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some people, they believe it is too risky to give
children
 too much freedom.
This
 essay will discuss both sides and personal opinions will be given. On one hand, kids should be free to discover the world they are living in. Since everything is new to them, it is good to give some space to
children
 so they can experience and learn through daily activities.
This
 will help to develop their mindsets and learning attitudes in the future. The more activities they play, the more interests they can find for themselves. In some ways, sometimes it creates a pathway to future careers.
For instance
, some
children
 are interested in football, and some of them follow the hobby until they become football players.
On the other hand
, adults should supervise their teenagers on what they are wandering. Television programs, online channels, and the internet have so many things that young people should not watch. There are a lot of violent videos, or products that youngsters should not watch, as they learn very fast, and they do not have the ability to fully understand why it should not be learned. Take an example of a sixteen-year-old boy in China in 2006, he stapped his schoolmate just because his friends bet him for some money. In conclusion, I believe
children
 should have their own freedom to learn and grow with an understanding eye from their parents. Parents should give their
children
 a safe space, and an open mindset.
Submitted by tuongvi.dangngoc on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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