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Writing Samples
Band 6

Information technology is changing many aspects of our lives and now dominates our home, leisure and work activities. To what extent do the benefits of information technology outweigh the disadvantages?

Information
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technology
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 has changed many parts of our lives, including home, leisure, and
work
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 activities.
While
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 it has some disadvantages, I believe its benefits are much greater.
First,
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information
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technology
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 makes communication easier and faster.
People
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 can talk to family and friends through emails, video calls, or social media
no
Punctuation problem
, no
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 matter where they live.
This
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 helps maintain relationships and reduces loneliness, especially for those who live far away. It
also
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 helps businesses
work
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 with partners in other countries, which can increase trade and cooperation.
Second,
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technology
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 allows many
people
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 to
work
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 from home.
This
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 saves time and money spent on commuting and helps
people
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 balance their
work
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 and personal life better.
For example
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, during the recent pandemic, many employees successfully worked remotely thanks to video conferencing and online tools.
This
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 flexibility can
also
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 create job opportunities for
people
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 who cannot travel easily,
such
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 as parents with young children or
people
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 with disabilities.
Moreover
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,
information
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technology
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 offers many opportunities for learning and entertainment.
People
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 can watch educational videos, attend online courses, or enjoy games and movies in their free time.
This
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 variety improves life quality and makes leisure more enjoyable.
However
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, there are some disadvantages. Spending too much time on devices can reduce face-to-face social interaction, causing some
people
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 to feel lonely or isolated.
Also
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, working from home sometimes makes it hard to separate
work
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 and personal life, leading to stress.
Finally
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, social media can influence young
people
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 negatively by spreading false
information
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 or creating unrealistic expectations. In conclusion,
although
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information
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technology
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 has some downsides, its positive effects on communication,
work
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, and leisure are far more important. With careful and balanced use,
technology
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 can greatly improve our daily lives.

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coherence
Add more clear links between ideas to show a stronger flow.
examples
Give more precise examples for each point.
task
State your view clearly in one line at the start and keep it steady.
language
Use short sentences to keep easy word use and avoid long run-ons.
structure
Clear main idea in each paragraph.
coherence
Good use of time order words like First and Moreover.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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