IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that resources should be spent on protecting wild animals, while others think those would be better used for the human population. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

These days extinction of species has become a common issue.
Hence
Linking Words
, a significant
amount
Use synonyms
 of
resources
Use synonyms
 are spent on protecting them.
Neverthless
Correct your spelling
Nevertheless
, some people do not consider preserving animal kinds as a prominent action. Rather they believe in spending
resources
Use synonyms
 on the human
population
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, maintaining balance in the ecosystem is crucial. So, the
resources
Use synonyms
 ought to be spent on
both
Use synonyms
 animals and
Correct article usage
the
show examples
human
population
Use synonyms
. To commence with, recently there has been a drastic increase in the number of extinct species.
Consequently
Linking Words
, the government has spent
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
amount
Use synonyms
 of money on setting up national parks. Though it is a good step towards
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
protection, some people feel that the same
amount
Use synonyms
 of money could have been spent on solving problems related to
growing
Add an article
a growing
the growing
show examples
population
Use synonyms
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the government allocates
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
 for wildlife protection every year.
However
Linking Words
, it depends on the populace as some of them are fond of wild animals,
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
where as
Correct your spelling
whereas
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 the others are interested in solving
population
Use synonyms
 challenges.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, to highlight
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
resources
Use synonyms
 spent on
human
Add an article
the human
a human
show examples
population
Use synonyms
, a significant
amount
Use synonyms
 of money and
resources
Use synonyms
 are spent each year on human
population
Use synonyms
 protection as well as development.
For example
Linking Words
, the government has proposed various power plant projects in India.
Also
Linking Words
, they have invested
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 buying exported military weapons from Russia. Eventually, it is important to develop and protect
both
Use synonyms
 human and animal races. To conclude,
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
inorder
Correct your spelling
in order
show examples
 to maintain a balance in the environment, it is a mandatory act to develop and protect
both
Use synonyms
 animals and humans.
Both
Use synonyms
 these kinds are dependent on one another.
Hence
Linking Words
, spending
resources
Use synonyms
 to protect and develop
both
Use synonyms
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
species is one of the greatest acts.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: