IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people suggest that it is wrong to give money to beggars asking for money on the street, while others think that it is the right thing to do. Which point of view do you think is correct, and why?

#people #money #beggars #street #right #point
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When walking along the streets especially
crowed-
Correct your spelling
crowded-people
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people
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 places, most
people
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 were asked at least once by
beggars
Use synonyms
 to give them some cash. There is a controversial discussion about
this
Linking Words
 situation that providing
money
Use synonyms
 to
beggars
Use synonyms
 is appropriate or not. Partly of the
populations
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population
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 refute
to do
Change the verb form
doing
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such
Linking Words
 an action, while others consider that it is a good thing to do. In my opinion, I believe that
people
Use synonyms
 should not grant their
money
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 to the beggar and I will explain the reasons in the essay below.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in long term, bestowing
money
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 to
beggars
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 causes a negative consequence afterwards because
people
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 may indirectly increase the number of baggers in the future. To illustrate, if there are abundant pedestrians donating
money
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 to the
beggars
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, the total amount of
money
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 is high
although
Linking Words
 the value of each person granting to them seem slightly.
This
Linking Words
 behaviour will encourage the vagrants or homeless
people
Use synonyms
 who have no work and income to become
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
another
baggar
Correct your spelling
beggar
bagger
 since they can receive earnings from the donators.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when considering the reason, most citizens because of having sympathy toward
other human
Change the wording
another human
other humans
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;
however
Linking Words
, human trafficking
operation
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operations
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 may use
this
Linking Words
 method to gain benefit.
For instance
Linking Words
, among the real
beggars
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, there are some
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 of
people
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 that may be
kidnap
Wrong verb form
kidnapped
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 and
force
Wrong verb form
forced
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 to be
beggars
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 and givers cannot distinguish whether it is a criminal or not. That means the citizens giving cash to them unintentionally give
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
aid to the wrong-doing. To conclude, I conceive that donating
money
Use synonyms
 to
beggars
Use synonyms
 is not suitable because it conduces to unfavourable aftermaths more than benefits
such
Linking Words
 as the increased quantity of
beggars
Use synonyms
 and criminality.
Instead
Linking Words
,
beggars
Use synonyms
 should not exist in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society in order to avoid these results.
Submitted by aaatibet on

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