at the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compered with the number of older people. do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages.

#time #population #countries #adults #people #situation

Nowadays, the population of some nations the number of young people are a lot more than the aged people. I believe that

nations

Change preposition

in nations

show examples

this

situation the benefits are more than the disadvantages. I would like to discuss both

side

Change to a plural noun

sides

show examples

views

Fix the agreement mistake

view

show examples

this

essay. On one hand, young adults play an important role in the society as they can

Correct your spelling

perform

show examples

preform

Correct your spelling

perform

show examples

better at work in many

aspacts

Correct your spelling

aspects

such

as creation,

effectioncy

Correct your spelling

efficiency

effectively

and physically,

thus

increased the GDP of countries.

For example

, Hong Kong is a city

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

always has

high

Add an article

a high

show examples

rate of GDP because the percentage of X generation is much more than the elder population.

Moreover

, new generations have better creation they can

Correct your spelling

create

show examples

creat

Correct your spelling

create

show examples

a better world.

For instance

, the most present technologies

such

as the Internet,

Smartphone

Fix the agreement mistake

smartphones

show examples

and some effective

mediccines

Correct your spelling

medicines

are invented by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

young people.

Therefore

, they can

improved

Change the verb form

improve

show examples

our

live

Replace the word

life

show examples

and lead the nation to another level.

On the other hand

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

crecomstance

Correct your spelling

circumstance

also

cause some drawbacks.

Firstly

, the education funding might become a serious issue if the government have to support all the children's school feeds from

praimre

Correct your spelling

primary

prime

school

untill

Correct your spelling

until

university graduated because

this

is a

hugh

Correct your spelling

huge

high

amount of money and

this

might

leads

Wrong verb form

lead

show examples

the government a

finacial

Correct your spelling

financial

problem.

Furthermore

, the cost of marriage and housing commitment are two major

issue

Change to a plural noun

issues

show examples

. Especially in some

countise

Correct your spelling

counties

countries

or cities where have

the

Correct article usage

show examples

limiedation

Correct your spelling

limitation

of land. Because of

this

, young

adutls

Correct your spelling

adults

might be hard to get

marrie

Correct your spelling

married

dut

Correct your spelling

due

show examples

to the high price of housing that they cannot

afforted

Correct your spelling

afforded

afford

. To sum up, there are some pros and cons with the high rate of young adults in some countries.

However

, I believe that the advantages outweigh that the disadvantages.

Submitted by fankie.cecil on Sun Oct 24 2021

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

281 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

demographic
workforce
productivity
innovation
skilled labor
social development
technology
dividend
competition
resources
social welfare
unrest
instability
healthcare
elderly care

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?
The prevalence of entrepreneurs has reached a peak during the last decade as well as people working by themselves. There are many reasons that explain this situation, however, I consider that the most important is that humankind really desires to reach their dreams by performing their own projects. Despite having many benefits, it also has many stumbling blocks. In this essay, I will explain my reasons in detail.
5.5
band
Your friend has been offered a place on a course at the university where you studied. He/she would like your advice about finding a place to live. Write an email to your friend. In your email, describe where you lived when you were a student at the university recommend the best way for him/her to look for accommodation warn him/her of mistakes students make when choosing accommodation
Hope you are doing well! I am glad to know that you got admission to the University of Peshawar.
5
band
Some people think that parents should limit their children’s time to watch TV and play computer games and encourage them to read books. Do you agree or disagree?
Some individuals argue that parents should set a schedule in order to limit children's screen time, such as watching TV and playing computer games. Therefore, the youths are encouraged to read books instead. I firmly agree with this stance and think that this is a pivotal action which should be taken by every parent.
5
band
You should spend about 40 mins. Write about the following topic: Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?
The issue of banning mobile phones at public places has been a recent topic of debate among the nation. Some proponents of society believe that smartphones should not be allowed at public areas such as libraries, shops and public transport. However, I disagree with this notion and this essay will analyze my views by taking examples to demonstrate points to prove arguments.
4.5
band
You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. A good friend has just changed schools and is having difficulty fitting in and needs your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • make suggestions as to how they could make friends • suggest joining clubs, participating in school activities • give any extra general advice
I hope you are doing well. I just heard that you are not comfortable with your old school. I know what you feel. Adapting to some situasion is a difficult things for some people to do. I writing this letter to help you adjust to your new school.

at the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compered with the number of older people. do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people think that parents should limit their children’s time to watch TV and play computer games and encourage them to read books. Do you agree or disagree?

You should spend about 40 mins. Write about the following topic: Many people think that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport. Do you agree or disagree?