Some people think that government is responsible for the rise in obesity in children. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

There is a hot debate about the responsibility of the nation's
government
to the growth of overweight tendency in
children
. I tend to disagree with
this
statement because,
besides
the
government
, the parents and
food
product companies should be more responsible for the
children
's health.
First
and foremost, the adults in the family have a crucial position in the development of their
children
, especially in their diets habit and physical activities.
For example
, most parents buy an instant meal or fast
food
for their kids
instead
of cooking a healthy meal at home because of the hectic life. Several studies prove that fast
food
primarily results in obesity in
children
.
On the other hand
, the
children
who don't have exercise or outdoor activities
also
easily gain more weight. Our
children
will learn from our actions, so if their parents have a sedentary life, it will affect our
children
's
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
Moreover
, the
food
industry has accelerated these recent years and has a significant role in
this
trend. More and more fast
food
stores are built in the urban cities. People can easily find a fast-
food
store in every corner or mall over the town. When we turn on the television, we can watch a thousand advertisements for fast
food
with beautiful and delicious images that increase the costumers. We all know, the high-fat rate and calories in fast
food
are much higher than the assumption. It correlates with a greater risk of obesity.
Last
, the
government
also
has a vital responsibility, albeit not significant, when they approve of the development of the fast-
food
industry. The situation is likely to deteriorate
further
when the
government
doesn't have any effort to decrease the trend. In conclusion, I think the community should take more actions to solve
this
disease because obesity harms our young generation's health.
Submitted by thanhlan.trinh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • policies
  • responsibility
  • health and well-being
  • education and awareness programs
  • childhood obesity
  • food advertising and labeling
  • unhealthy food
  • supportive environments
  • recreational facilities
  • collaboration
  • healthcare providers
What to do next:
Look at other essays: