IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that more money should be spent on protecting endangered species while others think it is a waste of valuable money. What is your opinion?

#people #money #species #waste
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Every living animal and plant has a sole and purpose in
this
 world, and if we remove it from its natural habitat, it could lead to the destruction of that abode.
However
, I believe that the protection of wildlife is of paramount importance, because of how their lives are intricately woven with ours.
Therefore
, I agree that it is important for money to be spent on protecting endangered species. I will substantiate my reasoning in the course of
this
 essay.
First
 and foremost, it is important to realise, that beasts existed on
this
 planet way before our technologies and cities grew, thereby meaning that we have encroached onto their land. The more we destroy, the more they will have to move into our cities to look for food, resulting in altercations with humans.
This
 is why the government has to be more involved in protecting these beasties so that those who share the area with the animals can live in harmony with them.
For example
, the Sambar deer is the staple food for the Bengal Tiger in India.
However
, because of deforestation, their habitats are being lost resulting in numbers moving on or even dying out. Since their numbers are dwindling, the tigers look for the
next
 easy meal, which are the humans living in the same locality.
On the other hand
, sections of society believe in the advancement of mankind, which means that more of the government s funds, should be put into the education, healthcare, and transportation sectors, as doing so will create more jobs and thereby boost the economy. In conclusion, whilst I believe that the growth of a country is important, I
also
 believe that it is important to preserve the wildlife of a particular locality because certain animals are only available in certain habitats, and because of
this
 many people world over will want to come and see them in their natural habitats void from human interference.
This
 will
also
 boost the tourism of a country.
Submitted by Nigelvictorlawrence on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: