The spread of urban areas has led to deforestation and has caused many animal species to become endangered. Environmental groups are urging governments to protect these animals. What are the benefits of protecting animals? What can governments do to protect animals?

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Over the

last

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few decades, there has been a profound increase in the expansion of urban

areas

Use synonyms

. To facilitate

this

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, an excessive number of trees are logged, which endangers multiple animal species. Measures have to be taken as it is beneficial to protect

animals

Use synonyms

This

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essay will list the advantages of saving

animals

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and

also

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suggest ways in which governments can protect them. Ensuring the safety of

animals

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in danger of extinction has several benefits.

Firstly

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, they provide an opportunity to learn.

In other words

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, by studying these

animals

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in detail, humans can acquire crucial information on several scientific theories

such

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as evolution and adaptation.

This

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newly gained data can be used to

further

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develop and confirm these theories leading to a better understanding of

this

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world.

Secondly

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animals

Use synonyms

play a vital role in maintaining the stability of the biosphere.

This

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is because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

most

animals

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are interdependent on each other for their survival.

Therefore

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, the extinction of a certain animal will disrupt the food chain and

consequently

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, the balance of the ecosystem resulting in frequent occurrences of natural disasters. For these reasons, it is clearly evident that there are merits to protecting

animals

Use synonyms

and preventing them from extinction. To tackle these undesirable effects, the

government

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can take steps to conserve these

animals

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. One solution is to implement strict laws to limit deforestation. Extensive logging of trees to meet the requirements of the rapidly expanding urban

areas

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has resulted in the loss of habitat of several indigenous species rendering them homeless.

Consequently

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, the survival rates of

such

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habitat-less

animals

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are very low.

Hence

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, the

government

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should set a maximum limit on the volume of trees logged by companies. Another solution is to extend the protected

areas

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. The

government

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can increase the amount of land allocated to the

animals

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in the form of national parks and wildlife sanctuaries .

This

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will improve the conditions for their survival. In conclusion,

although

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the rapid expansion of urban

areas

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is beneficial to the public, it is detrimental to the endangered species.

Moreover

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, protecting these

animals

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can be advantageous to the ecosystem and science. To do

this

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, the

government

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and enforce stricter laws and extend protected

areas

Use synonyms

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task achievement

Consider using more specific examples to support your points. This can make your arguments stronger and more persuasive.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that all points are explained concisely without redundancy to maintain the reader's engagement.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which helps to frame the response well.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is strong, with each paragraph focusing on a distinct point.

task achievement

The essay demonstrates comprehensive ideas and addresses all parts of the task effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

361 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Biodiversity
Ecological balance
Ecosystem services
Genetic diversity
Tourism
Economic growth
Awareness
Education
Regulations
Conservation
Initiatives
Collaboration

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While some people consider global warming to be the most pressing environmental problem which we have at the moment, others believe that deforestation has a more devastating impact on our world. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
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The spread of urban areas has led to deforestation and has caused many animal species to become endangered. Environmental groups are urging governments to protect these animals. What are the benefits of protecting animals? What can governments do to protect animals?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Spending money on old buildings is expensive; we should build new houses instead. To what extent do you agree?

In the 20th century, contact between many different parts of the world has developed rapidly through air travel and telecommunications. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, secondary schools aim to provide a general education across a range of subjects. In others, children focus on a narrow range of subjects related to a particular career. Which do you think is appropriate in today’s world?

While some people consider global warming to be the most pressing environmental problem which we have at the moment, others believe that deforestation has a more devastating impact on our world. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.