IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Development in technology has brought various environmental problems. Some believe that people need to live simpler lives to solve environmental problems. Others, however, believe technology is the way to solve these problems. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#development #technology #believe #people #lives
Thanks to technological development, human beings are now living in the greatest technological boom times in human history.
Therefore
, numerous environmental
problems
 are unavoidable. Some claim that
people
 need to live a simple life to tackle these
problems
 while others say that these
problems
 are only can be dealt with by using technology. From my perspective, I firmly lean towards the latter and
this
 essay will discuss these two viewpoints in-depth. There is no denying that living a simple life is advantageous to a certain extent.
To begin
 with, it is obvious that fewer emissions would be emitted into the atmosphere if
people
 would not
use
 their private vehicles.
Instead
, they could
use
 public transportation systems
such
 as buses, trains or taxis.
Moreover
, those coming from affluent families,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could
use
 hybrid transport vehicles or electric cars
instead
 of normal cars.
Secondly
, the over-exploitation of natural resources
such
 as fossil fuels is the main culprit of global warming.
People
 have to
use
 fossil fuels for industrial activities in order to provide
energy
 for every household.
Hence
,
that is
 the reason why many contend that
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
simple life would lead to a better world in the future.
However
, several feasible solutions can be implemented to alleviate plenty of various environmental
problems
 by making full
use
 of modern technology.
First
 of all, the government could allocate more funds to develop many alternative sources of
energy
such
 as solar
energy
, wind power,... . These are environmentally-friendly
energy
 and
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can only be used by modern machines. Given the proliferation of some renewable sources of
energy
, it would have a positive impact on the atmosphere and the world as a whole. In a nutshell, I strongly believe that
people
 can make full
use
 of modern technology in order to remedy the aforementioned issues.
Submitted by thienvinh2004 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: