There is a general increase in anti-social behaviours and lack of respect for others. What are the causes and solutions?
Today, anti-social
behaviours
and a lack of respect for others
more and more grow up because of the development of social media
. Individuals and the government can solve this
issue in some ways, which I shall explain in more detail in this
essay.
To begin
, anti-social behaviours
and a lack of veneration for others
are caused by the development of social media
applications such
as Facebook, TikTok, and much more. For example
, the culture in my country is that daughters-in-law must take care of and esteem their mothers-in-law; however
, recently, a series of short videos that depicted a young daughter-in-law who asks equally with her mother-in-law is spreading rapidly. She required her mother-in-law to do heavy choir households like her and not pay any attention to her old mother-in-law's health problem. This
has initiated a wave of tension that daughters-in-law fight their mothers-in-law in our society. Consequently
, this
leads to a number of broken family relationships and a decrease in the quality of social ethics.
On the other hand
, it is thought that to control the increase in anti-social deeds and lack of high opinion for others
. Each individual should enhance their knowledge by reducing spending time on the digital instead
of reading books. Additionally
, they should reject negative texts and videos as well as
stop sharing and discussing them on the internet. Furthermore
, the government should also
produce forced laws for social media
content creators to prevent the spreading of bad content which affects people's behaviours
. In addition
, the authority should organize many offline physical activities to build good relationships among people to spread beautiful behaviours
to develop civilized communities without anti-social behaviours
.
In conclusion, the development of social media
has led to a general growth in deeds of anti-social and less deference to others
and this
trouble can be addressed if each individual can improve their awareness of social media
themselves as well as
if the government sets the rules for producing reliable content for social media
.Submitted by writingeilts on
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task achievement
Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and provides relevant examples, such as the story of the daughters-in-law and mothers-in-law. However, try to develop your points further to provide a more in-depth analysis. Also, work on integrating your examples more seamlessly into your narrative.
coherence cohesion
While your essay's structure is logical and coherent, some sentences could be made clearer. Work on improving sentence clarity by reducing the complexity of some sentences and avoiding awkward phrasing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs. This will help your essay flow more naturally and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument. Phrases like 'For example' and 'On the other hand' are good starts, but work on connecting ideas more fluidly within each paragraph.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well and provide a focused structure.
task achievement
You provided specific examples to support your main points, which is crucial for a strong task response.
task achievement
You addressed both the causes and solutions of anti-social behaviour and a lack of respect for others, fulfilling the task requirements.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example