There is a general increase in anti-social behaviours and lack of respect for others. What are the causes and solutions?

#behaviours #lack #respect

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Today, anti-social

behaviours

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and a lack of respect for

others

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more and more grow up because of the development of social

media

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. Individuals and the government can solve

this

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issue in some ways, which I shall explain in more detail in

this

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essay.

To begin

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, anti-social

behaviours

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and a lack of veneration for

others

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are caused by the development of social

media

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applications

such

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as Facebook, TikTok, and much more.

For example

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, the culture in my country is that daughters-in-law must take care of and esteem their mothers-in-law;

however

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, recently, a series of short videos that depicted a young daughter-in-law who asks equally with her mother-in-law is spreading rapidly. She required her mother-in-law to do heavy choir households like her and not pay any attention to her old mother-in-law's health problem.

This

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has initiated a wave of tension that daughters-in-law fight their mothers-in-law in our society.

Consequently

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this

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leads to a number of broken family relationships and a decrease in the quality of social ethics.

On the other hand

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, it is thought that to control the increase in anti-social deeds and lack of high opinion for

others

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. Each individual should enhance their knowledge by reducing spending time on the digital

instead

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of reading books.

Additionally

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, they should reject negative texts and videos

as well as

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stop sharing and discussing them on the internet.

Furthermore

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, the government should

also

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produce forced laws for social

media

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content creators to prevent the spreading of bad content which affects people's

behaviours

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In addition

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, the authority should organize many offline physical activities to build good relationships among people to spread beautiful

behaviours

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to develop civilized communities without anti-social

behaviours

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. In conclusion, the development of social

media

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has led to a general growth in deeds of anti-social and less deference to

others

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and

this

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trouble can be addressed if each individual can improve their awareness of social

media

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themselves

as well as

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if the government sets the rules for producing reliable content for social

media

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Submitted by writingeilts on Thu Jun 27 2024

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task achievement

Your essay demonstrates a clear understanding of the topic and provides relevant examples, such as the story of the daughters-in-law and mothers-in-law. However, try to develop your points further to provide a more in-depth analysis. Also, work on integrating your examples more seamlessly into your narrative.

coherence cohesion

While your essay's structure is logical and coherent, some sentences could be made clearer. Work on improving sentence clarity by reducing the complexity of some sentences and avoiding awkward phrasing.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs. This will help your essay flow more naturally and make it easier for the reader to follow your argument. Phrases like 'For example' and 'On the other hand' are good starts, but work on connecting ideas more fluidly within each paragraph.

coherence cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which frame your essay well and provide a focused structure.

task achievement

You provided specific examples to support your main points, which is crucial for a strong task response.

task achievement

You addressed both the causes and solutions of anti-social behaviour and a lack of respect for others, fulfilling the task requirements.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

329 words

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There is a general increase in anti-social behaviours and lack of respect for others. What are the causes and solutions?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

To what extent has information technology social inequality?

for many people, the reason they work hard is to earn money. to what extent do you agree or disagree? edit

Learning to manage money is undeniably one of the most crucial life skills. In today’s fast-paced world, where financial security directly impacts one's quality of life, understanding how to handle money effectively is essential.

Some people think women should be given equal chances to work and excel in their careers. Others believe that a woman’s role should be limited to taking care of the house and children. Which opinion do you agree with and why? Include specific details and examples to support your choice.