Some people think that children should aim to their best at what they are doing while others believe it is not necessary for them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Few citizens mindset is to bring kids

such

a way that they should aim higher in anything they do whereas others think the other way. I opine that a balanced approach would definitely benefit kids as well as the society and country.

Firstly

, if children at tender age get trained and motivated, they can achieve impossible results which are proven by countries like China and Russia.

Secondly

, there is a known saying "It is acceptable if you miss the aim but the lower aim is not acceptable" which may be equally correct by looking at the potential for kids. In the era of cutthroat competition, they should achieve extraordinary results in every field to taste real success and progress.

Furthermore

, it is quite common that growth is useless without a goal which can be a motivation factor for them.

Moreover

, they should be given a small achievable target and often encouraged by praising and giving them prizes.

Lastly

, they should be provided stronger mentorship and taught to remain mentally strong. All these will help them to remain focused and not distracted by gadgets and video games. We may put extra pressure and burden on them by pushing them too much which can exploit their life at a later stage.

Moreover

, they have all rights to enjoy childhood and unnecessary pressure can lead their life towards depression, suicide and addictions.

Nevertheless

, gaining money, popularity and fame at a younger age can be a huge distraction for study, family and social activity. To summarise, a higher goal would help youngsters to excel in their activity by providing a positive approach, mentorship and care.

Submitted by ankit1182000 on Mon Oct 25 2021

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

271 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

striving for excellence
discipline
perseverance
competitive
reduces pressure
balanced development
fosters creativity
realistic goals
adverse mental health outcomes
achievable aspirations
balanced approach
participation
enjoyment
societal and cultural impact
understanding of success

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Some people think that children should aim to their best at what they are doing while others believe it is not necessary for them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Fully explain your ideas

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