These days some people spend a lot of money on tickets to go sporting or events.Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The current trend has seen many
individuals
spend most of their earning in buying tickets for
entertainment
activities
.
However
,As much as
entertainment
has
merits
Correct article usage
the merits
show examples
of
releaving
Correct your spelling
relieving
releasing
stress and
also
promoting social interactions it has some demerits too.
To begin
with,
entertainment
events
such
as sports
activities
provide a good platform for
individuals
to unwind following the heavy
hussle
Correct your spelling
hustle
and
buzzel
Correct your spelling
buzzer
buzzed
buzz
of the week
this
is because many people are involved in
routen
Correct your spelling
routine
jobs which are monotonous and
time consuming
Add a hyphen
time-consuming
show examples
therefere
Correct your spelling
therefore
finding a place to relax and enjoy is imperative.Another reason,buying tickets for
entertainment
promotes social
interraction
Correct your spelling
interaction
among
individulas
Correct your spelling
individuals
like in the case of youths who are involved in
such
activities
prevents them from being vulnerable to negative vices in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
For example
,
Kibera
Correct article usage
the Kibera
show examples
youths sports centre
was establish
Change the verb form
was established
show examples
as a joint to deter youths from negative influence.
Thus
,
entertainment
not only
promote
Change the verb form
promotes
show examples
individual
well- being
Correct your spelling
well-being
show examples
but
aslo
Correct your spelling
also
has some influence in shaping
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
.
On the contrary
,buying
Add an article
a ticket
show examples
ticket
Fix the agreement mistake
tickets
show examples
has led to impulse spending for
simple
Add an article
the simple
show examples
reason of being addictive
thus
individuals
are not able to make solid decisions on basic needs
instead
buy tickets.Due to
this
fact
Add a comma
,fact
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
families
Add an article
the families
show examples
are
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
is
Correct your spelling
in
show examples
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
vague of collapsing.
In addition
,many social responsibilities are neglected by those who are involved in
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
entertainment
joints clearly seen when husbands are not able to respond effectively to their call of taking care of their children.As an illustration,recent research conducted has seen
80
Correct article usage
an 80
show examples
% drop in family
relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
show examples
as a result
of irresponsibility among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
those who prefer
entertainment
activities
.
Therefore
,the challenges facing
individuals
who have decided on
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
activity
are
unneccessary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
spending and neglect of social responsibility. In summary,even though sporting and
entertainment
events are important for social cohesion and individual well being it is important for
individuals
to balance the
activities
between social responsibilities and taking care of their earnings.
Submitted by Sabina Hamisi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: