Some people suggest that bringing up children by thw whole family includimg uncles, aunts and grandparents is better, rather than only by parents. To what extend are you agree or disagree?

#people #children #thw #includimg #uncles #aunts #grandparents #parents

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these days, global communities have various ideas about the method of growing

children

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owing to the fact that a group of them think that extended family and

parents

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have a good effect on

children

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bringing up

instead

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of just by

parents

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. I subscribe to

this

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idea because growing up with a lot of

people

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enhances

children

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's communication and

people

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have several experiences in child-rearing. On the one hand, the main factor that aids the youth to have good efficiency in society is that they can control their behaviours in a bad position and know how they have to do in

this

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time;

as a result

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, the

parents

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can simulate

this

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situation for their

children

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when they have an interaction with other populations

such

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as their uncles, aunts and grandparents.

On the other hand

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, if the community have

children

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, they receive a range of experiences, perspectives, and skills for

children

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-rearing.

In other words

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, young

people

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grow really good with other members of their extended families and

parents

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on account of the fact that various

people

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have their experience several times and they know which method of behaviour has a positive impact on

children

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's manner and the best food that help their body to get different mineral, vitamin, protein, and so on which help young generations will be a healthy person in the future.

to sum up

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, in my opinion, when all families have influence in the

children

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's bringing , the young generations grow better with good communication and their bodies are in a good situation.

Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on Fri Nov 29 2024

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task achievement

You have provided a clear opinion and stated your reasons. However, you should aim to include more specific examples or case studies to substantiate your points. This will enhance your argument and demonstrate your ability to apply your ideas to real-world situations.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and flows logically from one point to the next. Using linking words and cohesive devices can help improve the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

You have an introduction that outlines the main argument and a conclusion that summarizes your opinion effectively. This provides a clear structure to your essay.

coherence cohesion

The essay attempts to support the main points with reasoning, such as discussing the benefits of children's interactions with extended family, which shows a thoughtful approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

254 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

extended family
child-rearing
diverse experiences
harmonious family environment
sense of belonging
emotional support
wisdom and guidance
multicultural societies
heritage and traditions
conflicts and confusion

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Some people suggest that bringing up children by thw whole family includimg uncles, aunts and grandparents is better, rather than only by parents. To what extend are you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

An increasing number of professional, such as doctors an teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in develop countries. What problems does this cause? what can be done to deal with this situation?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Atlantic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places.

The rise off social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

Many students like to get involved in extra- curricular activities at university such as social clubs and sports. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?v