IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some cities of the world, cars are replacing bicycles. However in some other cities, bicycles are replacing cars. What are the reasons for these two developments? In your opinion, which one is better?

#cities #world #cars #bicycles #two #developments
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In some
cities
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 of the world,
cars
Use synonyms
 are replacing bicycles.
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However
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,However
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 in some other
cities
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, bicycles are replacing
cars
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. What are the reasons for these two developments? In your opinion, which one is better? The transportation system is changing in
a
Correct article usage
the
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 world as many urban towns are encouraged to
use
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 motor vehicles and many are shifting their trend toward bi-cycles in a reverse mode.
This
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 essay will elaborate
the
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on the
show examples
 causes behind it and why people should
use
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 cycles in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
cities
a city
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cities
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.
The most
Correct article usage
Most
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 of the developing countries are accepting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cars
Use synonyms
 on their roads because they are in transition from non-fuel vehicles to fuel vehicles. They would like to taste a technology and shift their development pace
in to
Join the words
into
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 top gear.
For example
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, as per The Hindu newspaper, three
percent
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per cent
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 of Indians are buying
cars
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 for
a
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the
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first
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 time in their life since
year
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the year
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 2000.
However
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, developed countries have faced the detrimental effects of diesel or
petrol driven
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petrol-driven
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cars
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. Their citizens are not interested to
use
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 these pollution exhausters as
it
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they
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 cause health problems
such
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 as cancer, heart attacks and so on. Due to
this
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,
the
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apply
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mostly
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most
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 European countries are building cycle lanes. So that, people living in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
cities
a city
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cities
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 can get
motivation
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the motivation
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 to drive
a
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apply
show examples
cycles
Fix the agreement mistake
cycle
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 and feel safe at the same time. According to
me
Correct pronoun usage
my
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,
government
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the government
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 should maintain the balance between fuel
cars
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 and
bi-cycles
Correct your spelling
bicycles
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 in their
cities
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. The folks must
use
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cars
Use synonyms
 only when a destination is far away from their
origin
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original
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 place or they have to take some bulky items.
Otherwise
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, they try to develop their habit to ride a cycle for daily routine works.
For example
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, commute to
office
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the office
an office
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, shopping etcetera. In conclusion, these shifts are motivated
from
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by
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 the experience of
urban
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the urban
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 population.
Although
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, some are choosing cycles or others
cars
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,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
masses have to choose their vehicle as per their need.
Submitted by sanghagsc on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • affluence
  • commuting distances
  • infrastructure
  • rapid growth
  • status symbol
  • environmental concerns
  • bike-sharing programs
  • traffic congestion
  • carbon emissions
  • sustainable
  • liveable environments
What to do next:
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