IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In some cities of the world, cars are replacing bicycles. However in some other cities, bicycles are replacing cars. What are the reasons for these two developments? In your opinion, which one is better?

#cities #world #cars #bicycles #two #developments
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In some
cities
 of the world,
cars
 are replacing bicycles.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 in some other
cities
, bicycles are replacing
cars
. What are the reasons for these two developments? In your opinion, which one is better? The transportation system is changing in
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 world as many urban towns are encouraged to
use
 motor vehicles and many are shifting their trend toward bi-cycles in a reverse mode.
This
 essay will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 causes behind it and why people should
use
 cycles in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
cities
a city
show examples
cities
.
The most
Correct article usage
Most
show examples
 of the developing countries are accepting
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cars
 on their roads because they are in transition from non-fuel vehicles to fuel vehicles. They would like to taste a technology and shift their development pace
in to
Join the words
into
show examples
 top gear.
For example
, as per The Hindu newspaper, three
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of Indians are buying
cars
 for
a
Change the article
the
show examples
first
 time in their life since
year
Change the article
the year
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 2000.
However
, developed countries have faced the detrimental effects of diesel or
petrol driven
Add a hyphen
petrol-driven
show examples
cars
. Their citizens are not interested to
use
 these pollution exhausters as
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 cause health problems
such
 as cancer, heart attacks and so on. Due to
this
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mostly
Replace the word
most
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 European countries are building cycle lanes. So that, people living in
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
cities
a city
show examples
cities
 can get
motivation
Add an article
the motivation
show examples
 to drive
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
cycles
Fix the agreement mistake
cycle
show examples
 and feel safe at the same time. According to
me
Correct pronoun usage
my
show examples
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should maintain the balance between fuel
cars
 and
bi-cycles
Correct your spelling
bicycles
show examples
 in their
cities
. The folks must
use
cars
 only when a destination is far away from their
origin
Replace the word
original
show examples
 place or they have to take some bulky items.
Otherwise
, they try to develop their habit to ride a cycle for daily routine works.
For example
, commute to
office
Add an article
the office
an office
show examples
, shopping etcetera. In conclusion, these shifts are motivated
from
Change preposition
by
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 the experience of
urban
Add an article
the urban
show examples
 population.
Although
, some are choosing cycles or others
cars
,
but
Remove the conjunction
apply
show examples
masses have to choose their vehicle as per their need.
Submitted by sanghagsc on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • affluence
  • commuting distances
  • infrastructure
  • rapid growth
  • status symbol
  • environmental concerns
  • bike-sharing programs
  • traffic congestion
  • carbon emissions
  • sustainable
  • liveable environments
What to do next:
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