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Band 7.5

A lot of people think people are being over dependent on phones and the internet? Do you agree?

#people #phones #internet
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With the advancement of modern technology, no longer is the computer the only place to use the internet, people now can use the net on their mobile phones
hence
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, I agree the community are becoming overly dependant on smartphones.
Although
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 the arrival of smartphones and other technological enhancements has been a boon to mankind, there are some drawbacks. Due to the increased dependency on mobile screens for various reasons, they get engrossed with the phones.For ,example it is widely known personal interaction has drastically gone down over the years preferring not to socialise with the existence of online networking platforms that enable folks not to have to talk to someone face-to-face. With the reliance on the internet, various transactions can be done in the comfort of the home
such
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 as online shopping where they can make the purchase online and the item will get delivered to their doorstep while with its absence they need to go to the physical store.
Thus
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 because of the lack of physical movement, they will lead an inactive lifestyle which can be interpreted as unhealthy.
Furthermore
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, people are easily distracted from notifications on their mobiles which can decrease work productivity and efficiency.
Hence
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, many companies prohibit the use of cell phones during work hours and are only allowed to do so on their breaks or in emergencies. In conclusion,
although
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 the arrival of modern technological devices has benefited society tremendously, the negatives far outweigh the positives. And as it helps the public function better, it is going to stay for a while in
this
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 fast-paced life, it can
also
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 expose us to diseases due to an unhealthy and easy-going lifestyle.
Submitted by yanizainal5 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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