Some people believe that children should go to extra classes after school. Others, however, think that children should spend that time playing instead. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many schools offer a range of extracurricular
classes
to supplement their regular programmes. While
children
are usually allowed to choose whether to attend them or play after school
, they are sometimes compulsory.
Some educationalists believe it is vital that children
take additional classes
after school
hours because teachers cannot normally cover everything in textbooks and, at the same time
, practice them effectively with their students
in the limited time
they have in regular classes
. For instance
, not all students
can practice speaking sufficiently in school
foreign language classes
, but an extra discussion class held after school
would certainly help in this
regard. Furthermore
, while
the subjects taught in school
classes
are important, they do not provide students
with all the skills
necessary for their future success. Consequently
, they would need extracurricular classes
to learn other key skills
like communication, teamwork, and cooking.
However
, many experts think children
need the time
after their classes
at school
to play and socialise with other children
. Playing tends to develop their social abilities and communication skills
, allowing them to exercise mentally and physically. Furthermore
, they note that childhood is probably the only time
children
can experience playing because when they become adults, the demands of work, higher education, family and social responsibilities often leave little or no time
for them to enjoy playing freely.
I think although
extracurricular classes
are necessary and provide students
with significant skills
that are not usually addressed at school
, children
also
need to be able to play so that their social and communication skills
develop, too. Therefore
, such
classes
should be arranged so that enough time
is left for playing during the week.Submitted by mohsenakhlaghiplc on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
General
Excellent work overall! To improve even further, you might consider integrating more relevant specific examples to bolster your arguments, as this can highlight your points more convincingly.
task achievement
While discussing both views comprehensively, your own opinion could be highlighted with additional reasoning or examples to make it more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Try using a more engaging introduction to capture the reader's attention. For instance, start with a rhetorical question or a striking statement related to the topic.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views and gives a clear opinion, effectively addressing the task requirement.
coherence cohesion
Your sentences are well-structured, and there is a logical flow between paragraphs. You used transitional phrases effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and you made sure your main points are well-supported.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!