Some people believe that children should go to extra classes after school. Others, however, think that children should spend that time playing instead. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Many schools offer a range of extracurricular
classes
to supplement their regular programmes. Use synonyms
While
Linking Words
children
are usually allowed to choose whether to attend them or play after Use synonyms
school
, they are sometimes compulsory.
Some educationalists believe it is vital that Use synonyms
children
take additional Use synonyms
classes
after Use synonyms
school
hours because teachers cannot normally cover everything in textbooks and, at the same Use synonyms
time
, practice them effectively with their Use synonyms
students
in the limited Use synonyms
time
they have in regular Use synonyms
classes
. Use synonyms
For instance
, not all Linking Words
students
can practice speaking sufficiently in Use synonyms
school
foreign language Use synonyms
classes
, but an extra discussion class held after Use synonyms
school
would certainly help in Use synonyms
this
regard. Linking Words
Furthermore
, Linking Words
while
the subjects taught in Linking Words
school
Use synonyms
classes
are important, they do not provide Use synonyms
students
with all the Use synonyms
skills
necessary for their future success. Use synonyms
Consequently
, they would need extracurricular Linking Words
classes
to learn other key Use synonyms
skills
like communication, teamwork, and cooking.
Use synonyms
However
, many experts think Linking Words
children
need the Use synonyms
time
after their Use synonyms
classes
at Use synonyms
school
to play and socialise with other Use synonyms
children
. Playing tends to develop their social abilities and communication Use synonyms
skills
, allowing them to exercise mentally and physically. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, they note that childhood is probably the only Linking Words
time
Use synonyms
children
can experience playing because when they become adults, the demands of work, higher education, family and social responsibilities often leave little or no Use synonyms
time
for them to enjoy playing freely.
I think Use synonyms
although
extracurricular Linking Words
classes
are necessary and provide Use synonyms
students
with significant Use synonyms
skills
that are not usually addressed at Use synonyms
school
, Use synonyms
children
Use synonyms
also
need to be able to play so that their social and communication Linking Words
skills
develop, too. Use synonyms
Therefore
, Linking Words
such
Linking Words
classes
should be arranged so that enough Use synonyms
time
is left for playing during the week.Use synonyms
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General
Excellent work overall! To improve even further, you might consider integrating more relevant specific examples to bolster your arguments, as this can highlight your points more convincingly.
task achievement
While discussing both views comprehensively, your own opinion could be highlighted with additional reasoning or examples to make it more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Try using a more engaging introduction to capture the reader's attention. For instance, start with a rhetorical question or a striking statement related to the topic.
task achievement
The essay presents a balanced discussion of both views and gives a clear opinion, effectively addressing the task requirement.
coherence cohesion
Your sentences are well-structured, and there is a logical flow between paragraphs. You used transitional phrases effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, and you made sure your main points are well-supported.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.