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Writing Samples /
Band 3.5

Some people feel unsafe either staying at home or going out. What are the possible reasons for this? What can be done to address this issue? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #home #address
Public safety is one of the most essential problems of the modern world. Some individuals do not feel safe even at home. An increase in the number of
criminals
 might be the major cause of the problem and in order to solve
this
 ,issue some important measures must be taken by governments. The level of crime has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
increased in recent years and it causes many problems in society.
People
 often feel unsafe in public transport or city centres where
people
 are overcrowded because crime situations usually happen in crowded areas.
For example
, most
people
 face situations in public
busses
Correct your spelling
buses
show examples
 when their wallets have been stolen and they do not have any idea who exactly
did
Correct pronoun usage
did it
show examples
. Solutions for the issue might be simple.
Firstly
, CCTV
cameras
 have to be installed in public places as they give an opportunity to easily detect
criminals
amongst
Change preposition
among
show examples
people
.
Furthermore
, to guarantee the safety of all citizens
cameras
 should be placed in isolated corners of the city. It helps to identify
criminals
 as
activities
Correct article usage
the activities
show examples
 of all
people
 are recorded in
cameras
.
For instance
, larger public facilities install
cameras
 in their workplace to reduce the number of crime situations that they face every day. In conclusion, it is the responsibility of governments to make sure that all
people
 feel safe in public places. CCTV
cameras
 are one of the effective ways to detect
criminals
 and guarantee public safety to citizens.
Submitted by zhadyra.serikbayeva2016 on

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Task Response
Ensure that all parts of the question are addressed fully and that the ideas presented are relevant to the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use cohesive devices such as linking words and pronouns to create a clear and logical structure. Ensure that the introduction and conclusion are clear and relevant to the topic.
Lexical Resource
Expand vocabulary by using a wider range of words and phrases. Use more precise and contextually appropriate vocabulary to express ideas effectively.
Grammatical Range
Use a variety of complex sentence structures, verb tenses, and sentence types. Pay attention to subject-verb agreement and use punctuation marks accurately to demonstrate a range of grammatical structures.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Perceive
  • Threat
  • Crime
  • Fear
  • Accident
  • Natural disaster
  • Personal security
  • Trust
  • Authorities
  • Social isolation
  • Loneliness
  • Media
  • News coverage
  • Community safety measures
  • Personal security awareness
  • Transparency
  • Support networks
  • Community involvement
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