IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Online shopping is replacing offline or shopping from stores. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#offline #stores #development
It is true that the
last
 100 years have been a rapid and dramatic development in many areas including technology. With the advancement in technology online shopping sites,
for instance
, Amazon is getting more popular these days. I opine that it is a positive development that has manifold benefits that can be explained in upcoming paragraphs.
First
 and foremost, e-commerce websites offer varieties of consumer products, goods or foods at one place without visiting physical
shops
. For an earlier generation, buying food or product involves visiting individual
shops
 each with a limited range of offers. Customers had less money and credit cards weren't widely used.
For instance
, one cannot find electronic items in
a book
Correct the article-noun agreement
book stores
a book store
show examples
stores
 and vice versa. They have to visit individual
stores
.
By contrast
, e-commerce helps people to get their desired items with an unlimited range of products without visiting
shops
 or
stores
. Just in the same way, shopping from online
stores
 saves time and provide a better shopping experience. Nowadays people are very busy with their own work and not everyone has the spare time to visit
stores
 and
shops
 . Online shopping saves time
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 customers.
Besides
, there is no sales representative to pressurize the customers for buying products out of their interest and
gives
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
 a satisfying experience. In conclusion,
although
 online shopping has made life a lot easier, despite
this
, I think it is still better to shop physically as you will get to see, feel, make your choice and
also
 get the value for your money.
Submitted by hemankadariya29 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: