Some sports are extremely dangerous to the players. Why do people participate in such sports? Tell some measures to avoid the risks involved.

Despite being highly dangerous ,

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

extreme

sports

Use synonyms

have increasingly become popular among nowadays people. In

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

the

show examples

following paragraphs, the reasons, why

this

Linking Words

type of

Use synonyms

sports

Fix the agreement mistake

sport

show examples

has gained

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

popularity will be discussed.

Afterward

Change the spelling

Afterwards

show examples

, the sensible curbs to prevent the likely accidents

occuring

Correct your spelling

occurring

during

Linking Words

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

activities will be addressed.

To begin

Linking Words

with the causes of gaining more interest, the

extream

Correct your spelling

extreme

sports

Use synonyms

attract the players due to its enjoyment. When

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

are playing

this

Linking Words

sport

Use synonyms

, the chemical substance in

our

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

body called Adrenaline is released.

As a result

Linking Words

, they feel enjoyable, excited, and happy as well as

this

Linking Words

can relieve all stresses from the daily drudgery.

For example

Linking Words

, Bunjee jump can make people scared of the high, and forget all disappointment and sadness.

Additionally

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

dangerous

sport

Use synonyms

like rock climbing and

parachute

Wrong verb form

parachuting

show examples

can be

the

Correct article usage

show examples

remarkable experience

Change preposition

for

show examples

the players, and they can share

this

Linking Words

experience

Change preposition

with

show examples

others, which make them more interesting in order to make a relationship with others. To illustrate, I always tell my story, when I jumped from the bridge height 12 metres at the

advanture

Correct your spelling

adventure

camp in Suphanburee,

Hence

Linking Words

I can make friends with

other

Correct pronoun usage

others

show examples

easier.

However

Linking Words

this

Correct pronoun usage

these

show examples

sports

Use synonyms

always come with the risk of getting hurt. In order to prevent

emergency

Fix the agreement mistake

emergencies

show examples

which may occur from

this

Linking Words

sport

Use synonyms

, individuals should wear

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

protective

unifrom

Correct your spelling

uniform

such

Linking Words

as helmets and life jackets.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, they should thoroughly read the instruction prior to play, and strictly conform

every

Change preposition

to every

show examples

steps

Change to a singular noun

step

show examples

of rules and regulations. If you do these two measures, you will be safe from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

serious accidents. In conclusion,

althought

Correct your spelling

although

this

Linking Words

type of

sport

Use synonyms

is dangerous, which accidents can occur

Change preposition

show examples

every moment, a vast majority of people are still fond of playing it as it provides the exciting feeling that contributes to stress relief, and they can tell

this

Linking Words

story to impress and to make friends with others.

Moreover

Linking Words

, all likely

horrifics

Correct your spelling

horrific

can be protected by wearing a protector, and strictly following the regulations.

prokoh_ja_555

Oct 26, 2021

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Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

324 words

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Some sports are extremely dangerous to the players. Why do people participate in such sports? Tell some measures to avoid the risks involved.

If old people are no longer physically, mentally or financially able to look after themselves, younger family members should be legally responsible for supporting them. To what extent do you agree or disagree

Some cities have spent a large amount of money on bicycles. Why has this happened? Do you think it is the best way to solve traffic problems?

Your next door neighbor owns a small dog that barks throughout the day and the night. Write a letter to your neighbor requesting that something be done about the dog. Include in your letter: o Your reason for writing o What you would like to happen o A nice, respectful style

In some areas of the US, a curfew is imposed, in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?