IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people believe that children should begin formal learning at school as young as possible. However, others feel that children should not begin school until they are at least seven years old. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #school #seven #years
It is argued that whether
children
 should attend
school
 as soon as they could or
parents
 should wait until their
kids
 get seven to send them to
school
.
This
 essay will shed the light on both views before concluding that seven is the most appropriate age for
children
 to go to
school
 People who advocate sending
kids
 to
school
 at a younger age may assert that by
this
 way,
children
 will soon have a chance to be exposed to society
thus
 they will soon develop their communication skills and knowledge earlier than other peers. Some
parents
 are too busy at work
thus
 they do not have time to look after their
children
 so that leaving them with teachers is a proper solution. It is apparent that
kids
 who leave their homes earlier will be more clever than those who are still kept at home.
That is
 why nowadays many
parents
 prefer to send their
children
 to
school
 earlier with
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 hope that their
kids
 will be smarter and grow up faster.
However
, people who want to wait at least seven
years
 to send their
children
 to
school
 have their own reasons.
Firstly
, in the early
years
 of their
life
,
children
 need more love and
life
 orientation from their
parents
 than counting skills from teachers. These are the important
years
 that
parents
 will have their influences on their
children
 the most,
thus
 shaping their views of
life
 and behaviour ways in the future. For academic knowledge or socializing skills,
children
 will have all the rest of their
life
 to pursue and cultivate.
Secondly
,
parents
 should appreciate these early
years
years
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
to develop a family bond with their
children
. By leaving them to the teacher too early, the connection between family members will be so loose, that could be faded away easily in the future. To sum up, I do believe that if
parents
 had a chance, they should keep their
kids
 at home in the early stage of their
life
. It is better to teach
children
 precious
life
 lessons and develop a good relationship in the family.
Submitted by pphuongkhanh96 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: