IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people like to do their everyday shopping at large supermarkets. Others want to go to several small stores or local markets to buy what they need. Which style of shopping do you prefer and why? Give reasons and examples to support your answer.

Shopping is
one
Use synonyms
 of the best hobbies for people. Some individuals like to shop in malls;
however
Linking Words
, others prefer to go to local
shops
Use synonyms
 or markets. I like both
according to
Linking Words
 the situation.
This
Linking Words
 essay will explain the reasons with suitable examples in the following paragraphs.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the first and foremost reason behind buying things from large retail centres is time and cost savings. To explain it, there are plenty of
shops
Use synonyms
 present at supermarkets so individuals can purchase everything in
one
Use synonyms
 place, which will not only save their time but
also
Linking Words
 be cost-effective
due to
Linking Words
 the discounts available on big brands.
For instance
Linking Words
, the Scarborough town centre has a lot of
shops
Use synonyms
 in
one
Use synonyms
 place,
such
Linking Words
 as Walmart, Pandora, Gucci, Guess, Gap, and so on, and these stores
also
Linking Words
 offer discounts on purchasing more than
one
Use synonyms
 item, so customers can purchase things in bulk. Moving
further
Linking Words
, some people believe that acquiring goods from small
shops
Use synonyms
 is best because they believe that shopping from local stores is cheaper. To elaborate on it, if the masses go shopping in super malls, especially children,
then
Linking Words
 they are attracted towards the looks and class, and they spend beyond their budget, which will put them in trouble. On the other side, corner stalls can buy products cheaper and
according to
Linking Words
 their need. Nextly, for some people it is difficult to manage their expenses with their salary for all month, they need to buy groceries
at the end
Linking Words
 of the month when they do not have money; so, they go to local
shops
Use synonyms
 and pay after they get their salaries, which is not possible in a big retailer centre.
For instance
Linking Words
, the survey conducted by Chandigarh University showed that more than 70% of the masses in India pay their bills on the date
that is
Linking Words
 chosen by the customer and shopper.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
 shopping at supermarkets offers a variety of benefits, small stores
also
Linking Words
 have their benefits. So, a balanced approach is beneficial for both the employer and the consumer.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to make your main points clearer and more focused. Each paragraph should clearly support your main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words and phrases to connect your ideas better. This will help your essay flow smoothly.
task achievement
Make sure your examples directly support your points. Try to connect them more clearly to your ideas.
task achievement
You have included personal opinions which make the essay more engaging.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction gives a clear overview of the essay's structure.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • convenience
  • variety
  • availability
  • economies of scale
  • promotions
  • discounts
  • freshness
  • quality
  • local economy
  • sustain
  • personalized service
  • unique shopping experience
  • vendors
  • engaging
  • cost-effectiveness
What to do next:
Look at other essays: