In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of given children this message?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Convincing
children
Use synonyms
that hard work makes everything possible is becoming increasingly popular in many nations. In
this
Linking Words
,essay both of these viewpoints will be discussed in detail before a conclusion is reached. There are people who argue that the benefit of
this
Linking Words
message will encourage the young generation in many ways. The main reason for believing
this
Linking Words
is that
children
Use synonyms
usually have a lot of dreams since they are at the beginning of their lives and they might think everything can be successful when adults stimulate them to pursue their passion and believe in themselves. It is possible to say that it pushes them to become the best version of themselves through working hard and staying positive.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it keeps
children
Use synonyms
stay motivated even when they fail.
In other words
Linking Words
, when
children
Use synonyms
become adults and start chasing their dreams, they will surely encounter difficulties.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others believe that there are some drawbacks to inducing
this
Linking Words
message.
Firstly
Linking Words
, due to believing everything can be overcome if they hard work, they will set unrealistic goals for themselves and think they can achieve them.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
children
Use synonyms
may push themselves to their limits and work harder which causes negative results. To be more precise,
children
Use synonyms
may study all the time because they want to achieve their goals and
this
Linking Words
will make them suffer from mental health issues
such
Linking Words
as depression, anxiety and isolation. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
it is beneficial to promote
children
Use synonyms
that working hard can reach their goals, it can lead to some drawbacks
such
Linking Words
as problems of mental health.
Submitted by dr.phitsineevet4 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
What to do next:
Look at other essays: